You are engaged! You are getting married! Super exciting, because you found the person you would like to hang out with forever. One thing that most (still not all) weddings have in common is that somebody will buy you a present. In fact, weddings are one of the few moments in life where people will buy you what you ask for. Exactly what you ask for.

It's often uncomfortable to talk about, but the wedding registry actually gives you the opportunity to ask for exactly what you want, shame-free.

This (actually pretty weird) tradition all comes from the good old days when people got married immediately after leaving their parents' home. So they needed a lot of stuff to get them started. Now, this isn't often the case (though for some people it still is), but people still get to make very specific choices about what they want and need for their new life.

I am here to beg you to use this newfound registry power for good.

Yes, you have a lot to worry about already, but like your wedding, your registry can have a huge positive or negative impact on the environment. You can choose all items that you actually need, that will actually last, that don't add to our ever-growing pile of waste, and that were made by humans who were treated like humans. This may seem like a low bar for an item, but actually much of what we buy no longer fulfills this criteria.

Your registry is all about the future, so use it as an opportunity to build a world you can feel proud of (and where you can still breathe and drink water and so forth).

Does this mean you have to become completely granola? Only buy things made of hemp? No. Any couple in any lifestyle can implement simple, easy changes to help the planet and protect the future. We know that consumerism is directly linked to so many of the problems plaguing our Earth, from climate change to plastic pollution in the ocean, and weddings are often a huge affair that encourages a lot of shopping and spending.

People will buy you what you ask for (mostly, someone is still getting you a platter with your faces on it). Ask for things that make the world a teensy bit better.


Most people approach the wedding registry with two basic questions- "What am I supposed to have?" and "What do I want?"

Making a wedding registry more eco-friendly requires you to add (and maybe prioritize) some radical questions to help you and your partner flip the plot:

1. Do we already have this? Do we even need it? 

The first step is making a list. Instead of accepting the lists spread around, start by crossing off as many of their "suggestions" as possible. Cross off what you have that works. Cross off what you don't need. Cross off anything that you wouldn't bother to buy yourself.

Yes, your toaster is ugly, but does it still make toast? Yes, a registry can be a great time to replace things that are ready for retirement, but the best way to have a registry that really works is to focus on what you actually need. Not to mention, being happy with life in general is all about being happy with what you already have. If you can keep making something work, do that!

 Feel empowered to keep what still works, even if the Matrimonial Gods seem to be saying otherwise.

Overconsumption can look like an American value, but our obsession with stuff burdens our lives, wastes our time (we buy a bigger house, we buy stuff to fill it, we have to clean all those surfaces and work harder to pay for them), and just generally chips away at our happiness. Studies prove that clutter is bad for our homes, our heads, and our marriages. Not exactly the foot you want to start on.

Too much is also terrible for the environment. Our love of having ALL THE STUFF also means that we use more fossil fuels by shipping our stuff all over the world, we create excessive garbage (because that shitty plastic clock doesn't have a use once it breaks), and we fuel an economy of cheap and easy (meaning companies push for cheap labor instead of quality and ethically-made values).

So this is me, empowering you to only bother with the things you actually care about. Skip the rest.

2. Can we get this used? 

So you have a registry list; take a trip to your local Consignment store and see if you can cross anything off it at a pretty low cost.

We all want brand new cooling racks and hand towels, right? But, why? There are some things on every pinterest "you need this on your registry" list that you can easily get through community gifting like a Buy Nothing group or in any good-sized consignment store. Checking out what used options are out there can cut your list down even more, so you can focus on quality and not quantity.

If you can get the same wastebasket for 2 dollars, wouldn't you rather receive something else as a gift?

Buying things used is one of the most eco-friendly changes you can make to your life, and it will save you tons of money. Buying secondhand means you are keeping someone else's trash out of the landfill. These items usually move shorter distances from household to household, wasting significantly less fossil fuels and creating far fewer emissions by skipping shipping, packaging, and manufacturing. Plus, so often you can find things that are actually better quality than anything you will get in the store, because it was built many years ago to last.

3. Can I find a recycled option for this item? How about Made in America? Plastic-free? 

Instead of picking items based on what aesthetic appeals most to you, look to see if you can find things made as locally as possible. For us, that means Made in America. It is totally possible to have a wedding registry with only made in America items!

You may not think of Made in America as being eco-friendly, but every Made in a Far Away Land item has to travel all that way from it's manufacturing to your gift table. That wastes a lot of fossil fuels! This is just the tip of the iceberg; Made in America products often are held to higher environmental and labor standards (ok, less so lately), so you can feel confident that you are both supporting American workers and refusing to support the gross mistreatment of other human beings.

Because nothing says joyous day and lifelong commitment like someone in a sweatshop making your towels. We can do better. 

Caring about materials can make a big difference too. Recycled products keep things out of landfills. We also know now that plastic is a growing epidemic for our world and our water. Every time you have the option to avoid it, please do so. We all desperately need to break up with plastic.

By choosing Made in America and recycled products, you are also sending the message to companies over and over again that the ethics of what you buy are important to you and that you will support ethical and environmentally conscious products. It creates a positive feedback loop and ends the message they receive over and over that people don't care, they just want what they want when they want it.

So the last question worth asking- Do you Even Need a Registry? 

The answer to that is totally up to you. It is a social expectation, but like so many of those, it isn't particularly relevant for many of us. People will want to buy gifts, but you can decide what a worthwhile, not wasteful gift looks like for you. Yep, guests will have opinions, but you will be just as married.


First, you could just set up a honeymoon (or house, or college debt, etc.) fund, and ask everyone to donate to that. I love this wording, which is fun and playful. I also love when people say where their honeymoon will be or exactly where the money will go.

Second, you could have a potluck wedding, and ask each guest to bring a dish. It will save you thousands on food, and I think it would have a warm, family feel. I love this idea, especially if you want to be married but feel like you need to win the lottery to actually pull it off.

Lastly, you could just have a no gift wedding. Say "your presence is the only present we'll need," smile politely when a guest or two doesn't listen, and remove that element from your nupitals. If you are grown, you probably don't need much anyway.

If nothing else, go small. People like to know what to do, but you don't have to give them an epic list of options.

Having gone through it, I would point out that even if you have a tiny registry, you are less likely to get 20 things you don't want (maybe only 5-10). If these all feel too out there or against your community or family culture, I still have so many green ideas for you.

So, let's do this. 

You may be thinking "But Barbara, I have 40+ items on my wedding registry. I don't have time to research Made in America options for every one of them." Truth, friend, you are planning a wedding! You are busy enough!

On the other hand, I am not planning a wedding, so I have compiled a huge list here, so feel free to poke around. I used Amazon for as many links as I could, to simplify, but I highly encourage you to register somewhere small, not just on a big chain or website. I am an affiliate for Amazon, but seriously, you can and should spend money elsewhere.

Registries are long unwieldy things on a normal day, this is no different. I split it into parts so you can wade your way through a little bit at a time.

The Wedding Registry 

Kitchen Part 1

Kitchen Part 2

Dining Room 

Bedroom and Bathroom

Living Room, Outdoor Space, Cleaning, and Everything Else

If you want to transition into a more environmentally conscious or ethical lifestyle, you can also check out this post on Eco-Friendly items for every Wedding Registry for ideas.


So much more wedding wisdom coming up on the blog! Check out this Green Weddings Page for more ideas of how to have an event with a truly positive impact.

So your friends are getting married, and you want to throw them a party- so exciting! Weddings are a great time to celebrate and to think about the future. One great way to protect that future is to throw an environmentally conscious event, focusing on taking care of the environment. Because a happy future may have a mixer in it, but a happier future has clean air.

You don't have to announce it; your guests will probably not even notice the difference, they will only notice what a great time they had. So let's look at simple ways to throw an amazing shower:

1. Go Recycled Paper (or Paperless) for your Invitations

What do you do with an invitation after a party? Usually, the answer is throw it away. That is a lot of added waste to the world! Instead, you can go two different directions (depending on the formality and tech saviness of your crowd).

First, you can find recycled options for all of your invitations. No trees have to come down so you can throw a brunch.

I found a bunch of stationary places that use recycled paper; some are even filled with seeds so you can plant them! To check out these amazing companies, look at this post. Since then, I have also fallen in love with Whole Weddings, that does gorgeous plantable invitations as well.

If you have a younger crowd, you can probably get away with paperless invitations for your event. I think evite.com and Paperless Post offer really cute invitations, and you can track RSVP's and ask for pictures from the same site, which is pretty convenient. This may have been a faux pas 10 years ago, but now most people think of it as commonplace.

2. Switch Up the Registry

Wedding showers are really all about the gifts, so to have a green shower, you really need to think of all the gifts being consumed. It may seem strange at first, but consumerism is one of the key factors in climate change, so it takes a change in consumerism to see things improve.

If you love the couple enough to throw them a shower, you may love them enough to throw in a suggestion or two. It can be tempting to approach the registry with a "what do we want" attitude, but thinking more about what they need and what does good. That means a shift in priorities, but even more it means that they would have to do all sorts of research to have an ethical, lasting, and green registry.

Luckily, I have done all that work already. You can literally scroll through this registry and find everything on their list ethically and locally-made. If nothing else, it might be a fun thing for them to browse through as they figure out what the heck they are going to do with their registry!

3. Suggest Secondhand, Experiences, or Just Money 

(No, Really!)

There is this unwritten rule that you never EVER even mention the registry on a wedding or shower invitation. You would NEVER dare to ask for money or help with your honeymoon. It is UNHEARD of to actually ask for things secondhand. I mean, who would do that!??! New is so NEW?!?!

Alright everyone, let's stop clutching our pearls for a minute and get real.

A shower is literally a party where the couple (often the bride because obviously only heterosexual women use towels) is SHOWERED with gifts. It is a "we'll give you scones, you give us a blender party." Why are people not allowed to say this? Why do we have to pretend? It may be too much for the couple to say what they really want is help with their honeymoon, but you as their host can pass that message along.

Not only that, but money toward a down payment or honeymoon is WAY more eco-friendly than the gift of a toaster (when they already have a toaster but felt like they had to register for something). And if the couple is eco-friendly, secondhand alternatives to the items on their registry keeps more things out of landfills and in use.

So, consider being a huge rule breaker and actually telling people what the couple want. Maybe their grandmas will be offended, but really, will anyone else care?

4. Serve (Sneaky) Vegetarian Treats

In general, the production of meat products come at huge environmental price; they use up resources and cause a lot of waste. All the dead zones in the ocean you hear about? They are basically caused by the waste of beef production. If you want to cut into climate change, eat way less meat. Fish turns out to have serious problems as well; fishing nets are the number one source of plastic in the oceans.

You can usually only control what you do, but when you throw a party, you control what everybody does. A good host or hostess is really just someone who knows how to properly wield power (i kid, sort of). So, for this event, you get to control what everyone on the guest list eats for lunch. Choose something vegetarian. That's a little less food being eaten, and people will probably not even notice. Try a bunch of soups, an amazing salad, or some pasta. Give them carbs, and no one will complain.

This little gesture can keep a bunch of meat from being eaten and might even inspire a guest!

5. Focus on Memories, Not Materialism

Showers are kind of the worst in that they are the apex of capitalism. They are literally just about showering someone in stuff that you bought. There are games about the stuff that you bought. Everyone has to pretend to be excited about the stuff other people bought.

But seriously, who cares?

The couple picks out exactly what they want, they can track how it is going, and then they receive it. It would be like if every student watched while their other students turn in their assignments. Yes, you did your homework. And if this is a rare time where the bride(s) or groom(s) get to be with their loved ones, do they really want to spend it opening a mixer? (Seriously, who cares? Pretending about caring about other peoples' shower gifts is one of the worst parts about being a woman. It's up there with cramps and inexplicable gender inequality).

So I am suggesting an absolutely radical step to take at the shower you host: Don't open the presents there.

Instead, think about other things people can share at the shower. For my shower, everyone brought a scrapbook page or two. It was an amazing gift, and many of the pages have only grown more precious to me as life happens. You could have all of your guests show off their pages instead of giving a gift. Or each person could bring a piece of advice to share. Bring a recipe and a memory about it to put into one big book. There are so many options here, and you should do whatever best fits the couple.

You can let people know ahead of time, so if there is something they really want to watch be opened, they can come up with another plan.

Yes, someone will complain. Who cares? People will complain about anything.

6. Go Outside

The easiest way to have a beautiful party without spending a bunch of money on decorations or a fancy room is to simply have it outside. A beautiful venue means you won't need much to make it special, and the less you decorate with, the less waste you make.

Yes, this can be risky if you live in a rainy place (and obviously seasons come into play here too), but if you can have your party outside, do it!

Not only will it save you money, but it also nearly guarantees your guests will have a better time. Being outside and in the sun creates all sorts of positive chemical reactions in all of our brains. The pictures will all have great light. People will remember it fondly. We all are happier when we live outside. Such a simple shift in planning, but it has a huge effect and will save lots of waste.

from startadaycareservice.com

7. Decorate With Meaning (And Without Balloons)

If you want to nail the decorations I have two big pieces of advice:

1. Think about decorations that could be used again.
2. Only bother with decorations that are meaningful.

Neither of these are particularly "green" advice, but in following these ideas, you can actually do all sorts of good for the environment. It couldn't be easier to run to Target or Walmart and just grab some stuff from the party aisle; vinyl tablecloths, balloons, and themed paper plates.

But balloons and disposables are terrible for the environment. Both not only introduce more chemicals into our water and land (causing a lot of harm to our bodies) but they are also easily mistaken for food by birds. And honestly, balloons are not that cute. You can do better. Check this blog for tons of ideas for simple and cost-effective replacements. There are more than you think!

That said, when you decorate, if you focus on things that can be used again (vases that can be game prizes, reusable napkins to stock the couple for life, picture frames to take home, scrapbook pages to be treasured later, etc), you can set the couple's home up with treasures that are already deeply meaningful and imbued with the love of that day. My favorite idea? Decorate each table with a sapling or small plant, and then go plant them in the couple's yard (if they have one). What a happy thing to help them remember (and breathe).

That's pretty cool, and certainly beats a garbage bag full of balloons. Maybe you will have fewer things, but a few focal points tends to make a bigger impact anyway.

Think about the couple. Are they athletes? Use balls as part of your center piece (and they can take them home with them). Nerds? How about lego centerpieces. If you stop thinking of what showers are like and start thinking about what the couple is like, you will throw a way more memorable party.

8. Use Reusable Party Supplies. Not Available? Go Compostable

If you can, use reusable forks, plates, and napkins. If the place you are having the party have them available, use them! You can have a dish washing after party (no seriously, leftover drinks and dish towels and chatting sounds perfectly fun to me). If you are having a more formal event in a space without reusable stuff, check with party suppliers nearby (or your caterer) so you can rent.

Your last option is to find compostable options for all the cutlery, plates and cups you need. In bulk, it is similarly priced to plastic, but it is WAY better for the Earth and it looks a lot less tacky.

Plastic looks like garbage, because it is garbage. If you want a party that looks good, you shouldn't use plastic.

Check this post for all of your party supply needs. Good stuff is out there, you just have to know where to look.

9. Get Thrifty

If you are looking for supplies or a platter, consider checking your local thrift shops. You can always find neat things there that might be the perfect fit for your party. People donate regularly to thrift stores, but don't always think of them as good options for shopping themselves. Walk through one and see if you feel inspired!

10. Choose a Green Favor

If you are going to do a favor (which really, you don't have to), do something that is zero waste. Maybe choose a plant or seeds for everyone to take home. At my shower, my amazing MOH made washcloths rolled up to be lollipops that people took home to use. Washcloths are actually useful! Start by thinking of usefulness. You can read lots of favor ideas on this post.

 If nothing else, just avoid those stinking cozies or some sort of lame treat wrapped in plastic. Other mistakes to avoid? Anything "personalized"- do I really want to carry a tote bag with a cute saying or the couple's wedding date on it? No. But if you make it a little more subtle, I will be all about it.

11. Donate your Leftovers, Recycle your Waste

The last thing you can do to make your party greener is to think about what you do with what's left. Leftover food can be donated to nearby shelters. Any food you can't donate can be composted to make soil instead of garbage, and if you got compostable plates or silverware, you can throw them in the same pot.

On the same end, if something is recyclable, recycle it. If paper or bags can be reused, save it. The less you have in those garbage cans at the end of the day, the more good you have done.



Have an amazing party! Your friends are so lucky that you are celebrating their present happiness and taking care of their future!

Congratulations! You are getting married!

Wedding planning is an amazing time- we had so much fun planning ours- but it can be easy to get so focused on that day we forget we are headed toward a big new future! How exciting that you have a whole life with this wonderful person you love.

This is actually the perfect time to protect that future by taking care of the environment.

Imagining trips to the beach some day as a family? Let's keep that water clean.
Dreaming of big family dinners? Then we have to pay attention to how our waste is effecting our food sources
You want to sit on the front porch fifty years from now, breathing in sweet summer air? Then we have to take care of that air!

A wedding can feel like the perfect time to focus on yourself, but simple switches can make your wedding greener and to take care of your beautiful future together as well. You may have a particular image in your mind when you hear "green wedding" but ANY wedding in ANY style can have a positive environmental impact.

With a few simple switches you can do good, SAVE money, and save the Earth! Let's do this!

from AlisonKateDesign

1. Send Your Invites, Save the Trees

Weddings tend to use a lot of paper. Choose invitations that are made of recycled paper, and you can save a tree! They cost about the same, and do so much more good. Check out options in this post. If you are having a less formal event, you could go completely paperless and do digital invites instead.

2. Only Register for What You Actually Want

Our homes are way too full, and it is adding to our stress, our marital strife, and our negative impact on the planet. Consumerism is one of the key sources of climate change. What does this have to do with your wedding registry? Stores create these epic lists of things you "need" but their real goal is to sell as much as possible.

You know what you need! Go through that list and cross most of it off. By simply registering for less, you can focus on what you actually need and start a family culture where clutter and waste are unacceptable. Here are more ways I wish I could do again for my registry, but the most important point is that you know what you need, and then stop.

Register for only what you need, and then start a honeyfund and have an adventure together! Stuff doesn't make a marriage. Memories do.

3. And Find the Greener Version

Once you know what you want to register for, check out the Eco-Friendly Wedding Registry. You may think everything is Made in China out of plastic, but it isn't true! We will prove it to you.

When else in life can you control where so much money goes? Put it to positive use by supporting local and ethical companies.  You can quickly go through the lists and switch out what you were thinking for the greener option.

There are also a few object you may not have thought of that can help you kick off a greener lifestyle in your marriage. Check out this list of reusables you haven't thought of.

4. Choose Ethical Rings

Diamonds and other jewelry can come at a huge ethical and environmental price, but lucky for all of us, better options are out there. Think about alternative gemstones, all secondhand and vintage stones and settings, or ethical, fair-trade companies like Bright Earth.

If you want to see just how many options are out there, check out this list of Ethical and Eco-Friendly Rings.

5. Dress the Part

Don't go to David's Bridal! Those dresses are mostly made in Elsewhere using synthetic fibers (that's right, your dress is made of plastic- luxurious, right?)

There are so many options out there- consider shopping for yourself and your wedding party in places that make their dresses locally (you can even find Etsy wedding dresses), use real materials, OR go really bold and rent things from places like Rent the Runway! Great way to save money, and your bridemaid is never going to wear that dress again anyway.

Reuse is key here, so check out our ideas for bridesmaid dresses that can actually be used again.

And if you are feeling really bold, consider donating your dress once you are hitched, so it can continue to get use. Check out this list of pretty amazing ways your dress can keep getting use when you are done with it.

6. Think Reusable

This is supposed to be the most special day of your life, right?

Ack! Let's hope not, because you have a lot of days left. Instead of splurging for tons of one time use objects like card boxes and cake toppers, choose what you use based on what you (or someone else) can use again. Yes, it feels expensive, but rent your linens, silverware, ANYTHING that you have as an option.

The goal is to create as little waste as possible, so if you can't imagine keeping it or gifting it, don't spend money on it.

There are so many ways to do this and still save money. You can also think about buying as much secondhand as possible and selling it back after you are done. Check out this list of options on how to save money on wedding decorations while still being eco-friendly!

I also love the idea of making it yourself. Especially if you use things that you can take apart and use again. What DIY ideas are you using?

7. Serve a Delicious Meal with Less Meat

Not often you get to decide what 100+ people are going to have for dinner. We know that meat is one of the key sources of waste and CO2 emissions, so cutting down on the meat everyone eats can do a ton of good!

If you want to go big and bold, do a meatless wedding (just give them pasta- no one complains about pasta). If that feels too out there, consider having fewer meat options and more vegetarian ones. Make all of your appetizers meat-free. Cut out meat where you can for HUGE impact.

8. Give Eco-Friendly Gifts and Favors

This one can be so fun and easy! Skip out on the plastic box full of mints and give your guests an Eco-Friendly Favor instead. Check out your options- you will be surprised how much there is out there!

In the same way, you want to get your wedding party gifts to show them how thankful you are for their time and help in this big day. There are tons of Green Wedding Party Gifts you could give, including experiences instead of yet another physical thing (and seriously, skip the stuff that says bridesmaid on it. Who needs that?)

Basically, if you are giving a gift, focus on thoughtfulness and you can come up with something amazing that is still good for the Earth!

9. Be Plastic-Free, Find Compostable Options Instead

Even if you aren't doing a fancy event, you can still do tons of good by choosing recycled napkins and compostable forks and knives. An easy way to think about it is to avoid plastic. When in doubt, you don't want plastic to have any part in your day- it never looks good and it is terrible for the Earth.

Be sure to read this list of greener options for any of the party supplies you are going to buy in the course of celebrating.

10. Just Think Smaller

Every message we receive about our wedding (and honestly, our life) is that it needs to be bigger, grander, and more sparkly to be good. But feel confident that your life and your day will be amazing. Instead of trying to go bigger, think smaller. Keep that guest list as small as you can (I know, impossible). Have a few bridesmaids, not a gaggle. You will save money and minimize drama.

It can be near impossible to not get caught up in the beautiful images we see of weddings to not want something epic, but if you don't have hundreds of thousands of dollars to spend, attempts to create the look of luxury can come off as cheap (and is incredibly frustrating). Instead, think about what is actually true to you as a couple. What do you think a good party is? What do you think is a fun time? Do your best version of that, and go way less crazy.

You can skip anything that doesn't mean a damn thing to you. Don't waste money on a garter if you think it would be annoying to wear. Don't throw the bouquet if you don't want to shill out money for yet another bunch of flowers just to throw. Use your cake as centerpieces. Just do what you think is great, and skip the rest.

On the other side of my 20's, I have been to a hell of a lot of weddings, and they start to blend. What we remember is the ways this wedding did something different. Or we remember the amazing and hilarious thing that happened. I love this stuff, and I still couldn't tell you much about a lot of the details at the weddings we have been to. Leading up to it, it can feel like every decision is more expensive than expected, or is a huge compromise. When you don't care, just don't do it.


Good luck planning! You can have an amazing wedding in a style that fits you as a couple while still taking care of your future and the Earth!




Want an environmentally responsible registry? Be sure to read The Eco- Friendly Wedding Registry. Want more Green Wedding goodness? We have SO MANY ideas here of how to make your special day kinder to the environment and that much more original. Check out the Green Wedding Page for more ideas.

You love your wedding party. They are some of your favorite people in the world, and they have really showed up for you to help with this wedding. So obviously, you want to give them amazing gifts.

This can also be a perfect opportunity to do a little bit of good for the Earth. Most shopping comes at an environmental cost- it creates waste (often plastic waste that lasts forever)and it uses fossil fuels by shipping long distances. So one of the easiest ways to make a positive difference is to really shift the way you shop. And you know, there are so many wedding details and purchases, so this is the perfect place to make a difference!

The most eco-friendly thing to do is to stop all shopping, but I get it, gifting is my love language too, so I get wanting to love on them. So here are some options that are loving, thoughtful, and good for the Earth.

What to Remember

- Think Reusable. Whatever they can keep using for a long time is a great gift. Anything that says "bride's tribe" or "groom's guys" or "Bob loves Zelda- 5-4-2020" on it is doomed to the back of a shelf.

- Think Experiences. Experience gifts, like meals out or new adventures, just underline how much you value and will continue to nurture that relationship in the future. It also tends to create a lot less waste.

- Think Classic. Personalized objects seem nice, but may not fit really limit the gift's actual use (this applies to cufflinks, jewelry, tie clips, etc) Minimalist has a higher chance to really get used more.

- Think Secondhand.  You think it is cheap, but if you have 6 people in your wedding party, that is six fewer objects in a landfill. Plus, if you are having a vintage wedding, you can really lean into the vintage thing.

- And just skip the glass for booze. I see a lot of personalized glasses out there, and they look so cute all together. But then teach person goes home, and this one sad glass on the shelf, as if they need a reminder of their name when they are drinking alone. This also counts for flasks. If you are the kind of person who uses a flask, I bet you have one.

As a side note, the wedding party isn't always split across clear gender lines, so I am going to skip that here too. Some of them probably land more on heteronormative lines than others, but I think however you organize your attendants is cool.

This blog has affiliate links for Amazon or Etsy. That being said, when you can skip Amazon and buy local, you always should. Better for your community, the Earth, and for you. 

Jewelry (They Can Use Again)

Most brides will gift things they want worn on the day- jewelry, robes or button ups (am I the only one who does not love this trend? Why would it be cute to be surrounded with a bunch of clones all day long?). I love the idea of gifting this, but I think the focus should be on choosing something that can be worn again. I did simple studs, which I think I got more use, but I also bought repurposed brooch bracelets, and I think they were too loud to really make sense at any other time.

How to do this? Keep it simple. Don't put all your colors in one piece. Do just one color or just one metal. There are nearly infinite choices on Etsy, so I am not going to point to anything. But as you look, just keep asking if they could also wear it on a date night or with a t-shirt and jeans.

from cutebrightthings

Cloth Napkins

Ok, this seems weird, but cloth napkins are the BEST. You can get beautiful ones that your friends will want to use all the time, each unique to their style if you are feeling super thoughtful. Yeah, not the most common gift, but why be typical? And kudos to any gift that is actually useful. My favorites are from Clear Sky Home and Oh Little Rabbit. A new favorite might be Cute Bright Things.

Hair and Nails

If you are requiring your girls get their hair or nails done, write them a really loving card and pay for some of this stuff yourself. Being in a wedding is freaking expensive, so think of a cost you can take off their hands. If you want to add a little more, maybe a massage? But seriously, taking something off their plate might be the best you can do.

A Night Out

Instead of buying physical things, why not give each attendant a gift card for a restaurant you know they love or that means a lot to the two of you? People need to eat and this is actually thoughtful to something they would like.

from LuckyDogAccess

Make Something

This could be anything, from a Christmas ornament to a piece of jewelry to a meal for you to share. It doesn't have to be fussy, but something with thought could really show how much you care.

A Little Herb Garden

If you want to give a gift that will keep on giving, how about planting each of your loved ones a small herb garden? They can still keep it up without too much fuss, and they don't even need a yard to enjoy it. And every life needs more basil in it.

from YayForFriends

Tote Bags

A simple tote bag can have so many uses and it is so simple. No need to get your wedding date on it, instead, think about the things they love and  make it fun for them. If you have a sporty set, a gym bag could be perfect. And I don't think it compromises anybody's masculinity- dudes grocery shop too. Some of my favorite etsy shops to browse for this? PCBHome, Linen Pearls, and StrangewayStudios (love them).

Soap

There are about a million really beautiful soaps from independent makers out there. Everything from sweet and flowery to butch lumberjack charcoal. Why not get them something to treat themselves without causing any environmental harm? My advice would be to put soap in the search on Etsy, then narrow the results to shops in your state. You can get something cool, useful, AND local!

Pictures

I love photos and I love photo books. My favorite place for books and prints is Artifact Uprising. Their books are beautiful, minimalist, and made of all recycled paper. You could make each bridesmaid a little book or a print with a love note. Straight to the point. If you think they would rather have pictures of the wedding, you could get a gift card as well.

Lodge Pans

A Cast Iron Pan

Ridiculous... or genius? Every grown up can use a cast iron pan. And it's one gift they will use their whole life. Give them a pan and a promise to come cook a meal with them? If you have time, you could get them all secondhand and fix them up yourself. If you don't, Lodge sells pans that are still made here in the US. If you love the kitchen idea, but you aren't sure about cast iron, Epicurean makes turners and cutting boards in the US, both of which are amazing.

from CONCEPCIONSTUDIOS

Movie Tickets

Everyone likes going to the movies. Get them each gift cards for a nearby movie theater and call it a day. If you really want to step it up, you could get a cool movie poster for movies they loved from stores like CONCEPCIONSTUDIOS or MonsterGallery (they even sell them in big sets so you could save money).

Something to Eat

Short on cash? Why not skip the cheapo stuff and give each of your attendants a lasagna instead? I guarantee you, people will remember it.

If you have more of a budget, you could sign everyone up for Blue Apron or one of those cheese of the month type things (the downside being a lot of packaging). Still, at least it would be a gift they really used!

Kid Stuff

We gave the groomsmen at our wedding specifically chosen lego sets. It was a really fun gift, and I think it was true to the spirit of our wedding. If I could do it again, I would see if I could find sets secondhand on Ebay (there are 169,000 pre-owned sets on there), or do some other nostalgic item. I see 800 used Lite Brites, for example.

What did you give as gifts for your wedding party? What is the best gift you ever received?



Want an environmentally responsible registry? Be sure to read The Eco- Friendly Wedding Registry. Want more Green Wedding goodness? We have SO MANY ideas here of how to make your special day kinder to the environment and that much more original. Check out the Green Wedding Page for more ideas.

Oy, wedding costs! You go into it with a vision, and then slowly, that vision can be chipped away just by the shrinking amount still left in the budget. Before you are really planning, you spend a lot of time plotting decorations and cool details, but those are often the things that get cut for the sake of the event as a whole. Some of that is inevitable, but I do think there are cool ways to approach your wedding that can save you BIG money.

Even better, if you shift your approach to the stuff you buy for the wedding, you can save things from landfills and create less waste. So many of these decor pieces are used one night only, but if they are shared between many couples, they can have much longer and happier lives.

1. Get Everything You Can Used

 This is the most cost-effective AND eco-friendly thing you can do for your wedding decorations. So many wedding decorations become one time use things, and I hate to think of all the perfectly useful objects that get thrown out. But the bright side is you can find so much out there if you just know where to look and don't mind some browsing.

You can find great used decorations:

Newlyweds- We all know these big life events happen in waves. If you have friends getting married before you, check and see what you can get off their hands once they are hitched. We definitely gave decorations away to the Boy's beloved cousin, and our lights to the high school for dances. Your friends will have stuff they are happy to part with. Doesn't perfectly match? Get creative about what you can stretch to fit or change the color of and then offer the rest to others. After your hitched you can pay the favor forward!

On Buy Nothing- Have you joined your local Buy Nothing Project yet? I have seen it all on there- people offering their table runners to other asking for (and receiving) tons of glass vases for their center pieces. Check with your Buy Nothing and you could save 100's of dollars.

Goodwill and other Consignment Stores- Sometimes, this kind of shopping is a bust, but if you know what you need, you might find a steal. Also, lots of cities have craft consignment stores that might sell the ribbon or fabric you need as well.

Online Resale sites- Thank goodness for the internet, because you can now find everything you would ever want to decorate with used. Cheaper, convenient, and keeping things out of landfills? Amazing.

Ruffled is an absolute treasure, and you can find so many gorgeous things on their "Recycle your Wedding" pages. They have at least a thousand items, so it's a lot to go through, but you are sure to find something.  Make sure to check the price against the brand new cost, and don't be afraid to ask them to lower it a little (I mean, what else are they going to do with 100 extra mason jars?) Browse often, because things are going up all the time! You can find a steal on beautiful decorations.I may actually buy some things from them for a non-matrimonial party.

Tradesy- Tradesy started as wedding only, but they have had enough success to branch out. They have all kinds of wedding stuff, from bridesmaid dresses to wedding papers, but their decorations section is especially amazing and well-organized. They have 5,500+ items up right now! Easier to browse than most of the other sites as well. Be sure to join their mailing list so you get even more money off.

Wedding Recycle- This website also has lots of selection (about 3000 items) and they are connected to the Can't Buy me Love Project, where you donate wedding dresses that can be given away to brides who otherwise couldn't afford them. Pretty cool.

2. Let the Space do the Work

 You picked your venues for a reason. Start with that premise and just let the beauty of your wedding and reception spaces shine through. Choose colors that match the space. If it's already a good-looking spot, you may not need much. Don't pick a theme that doesn't fit the room, and you have already saved yourself tons of money.

3. Focus on Lighting (and someone can always lend you lights)

 If I had to decorate a whole reception with one item, it would be white twinkly lights. Lighting sets the mood, makes everything look intentional (even when it isn't), and adds that magical thing. Even better, you can almost always find lighting as a rental or used. Twice this summer, I have seen brides gifted tons of Christmas lights for their weddings on Buy Nothing (have you joined Buy Nothing yet? DO IT). If you do get lights lent to you, be sure to mark who each strand belongs to. Otherwise, you can get this high impact item for very cheap or even free.

4. DIY it

 I love browsing the decoration ideas on Etsy, but I am often struck how many of the things on there can just be made- you don't need to buy them! Sparkly branches? Glue, glitter, and a walk in the woods. Tissue paper flowers? Buy some bulk tissue paper and wire. Peg doll cake topper? Paint that business yourself. We made our escort cards from paint swatches- it doesn't have to be expensive to be memorable and fun. I love these crocheted boutonnieres, and you could do so many kinds of homemade flowers like these to cut floral costs.

 When you buy decor, you are paying for time and skill. Work ahead so you have the time, and you can self-assess which skills are within your wheelhouse. You can a little bit of money go a lot further this way! Only trick is to plan ahead!

5. Pick Focal Points over Details

 I have seen so many weddings where there were fussy centerpiece things at the table but nowhere to look in the room. Make a few spots really worth looking at and don't bother trying to make every corner beautiful. People will only remember a handful of things anyway.

6. Multi-Task Where You Can

 Use your favors or cake or guests as decor. You have millions of choices dependent on your favor, but it's a nice way to have something do double duty. I went to a wedding last year where the cakes were the centerpieces, which saves tons of money on flowers, and you get more time with cake, so who can complain? Stepping out of the box even a little might help you figure out how to make what you are already paying for a key part of the room.

7. Think Smaller

This can mean anything from a smaller guest list to a smaller wedding party to smaller floral arrangements. Simple is good, and over the top is actually kind of boring. Rather than totally giving up on your dreams, think about how you can do it in a smaller way.

Another way to think about this is that it is for one day, so anything you can rent DO IT. One day is a pretty small increment of time, so think in terms of borrowing, NOT buying.  A bunch of bought and disposable stuff may seem cheaper, but how much time, effort, and money are you spending trying to make it look nice? Skip the plastic table cloths and just rent. You will save in the end, and it will look fancier (because plastic looks like garbage even before it is garbage).

There is so much joy in not letting things become a circus. And you will be just as married.

8. Everything Doesn't Have to Match Perfectly

Prioritize what is free over what perfectly matches. Matchy matchy can be great if you are meticulous, but a little variation never hurt anyone. One of my friends is very detail-oriented and got all the colors to match perfectly at her wedding. And it looked amazing, but it doesn't have to go that way.

It's more important to have a set sense of style than an overly particular matching set mentality. That sense of style and vision for the big picture is what will have the impact in the end. Try this- write a list of five things you want your wedding to feel like (elegant, joyful, fun, cool, etc). Have your partner do the same. Start with those lists and build an overall style from there.

If you can find 40 free plates that look one way and 50 that look another, and they both fit, just use them both. The people at table 3 will not be comparing plates with the people at table 9. It can be hard to remember when you are in the thick of planning, but your guests don't care. They just want to eat.

9. Please Don't Monogram your Napkins

 Why. Why. Why. Why is this even still a thing? If you are doing the little cocktail napkins, by all means, get them in a color that resonates with your scheme (even better, get them recycled from a company like Susty). But why is this insta-garbage a good time to remind people whose wedding they are attending? No one has forgotten, and honestly, it is never all that classy. Put your money into other details, and then whatever you don't use can be for another couple or your dinner parties.

10. Do What Feels Like You (and What Makes You HAPPY)

We have been to so many weddings, and my favorites are the ones that are undeniably THAT couple. Like, I could look at the details and guess it was them.

There are always trends and childhood fantasies to contend with, but if you can't afford a grand ball, it will show. Instead, talk about what you actually like to do together, what kind of party is fun to you. When you start from that place, instead of looking at chandeliers on Pinterest or the 50,000 dollar event you saw on a blog, you will come up with something people love even more. If you aren't really champagne and caviar, but are more of a picnic couple, do that. And you can do that well.

To me, this is the key to happiness in most life events, and I think it works for us. I am not dreaming of a mansion, instead I want to do a small family home really well. You are always going to hear the message that more, bigger, more expensive are better, but we all logically know they aren't. Empower each other to do what is real and meaningful to you, and let the rest go.



So you may be overwhelmed with the amount of money you have already spent nailing down the DJ and planning with the caterer. I don't blame you- weddings are expensive! But decorations is an area that with a little creativity, you can make huge impact with a little bit of money.

Want an environmentally responsible registry? Be sure to read The Eco- Friendly Wedding Registry. Want more Green Wedding goodness? We have SO MANY ideas here of how to make your special day kinder to the environment and that much more original. Check out the Green Wedding Page for more ideas.