So, this month has been all about love and romance, but that isn't just Valentine's chocolate and anniversary gifts. A pivotal issue of environmentalism and romance is sex. Nice!

Yes, we are talking about sexy times here. I'm not embarrassed (I actually LOVE talking about sex, weirdly enough), but if you are let me give you the boiler and you are free to go:

1. We LOVE birth control. One of the greenest choices you can make is to only have children when you really want them. Obviously this isn't key for everyone or every kind of sex, but a high percentage of pregnancies in this world are still unwanted or unplanned. If we could effectively help people only have children when they want them, it could make a huge difference for the environment. Whether you are having heterosexual sex or not, safe sex methods (especially condoms) are so important that they are basically worth the waste.

Safer sex is greener sex, and everyone should have that option.

2. Sex toys, Condoms, and Lubes carry all sorts of nonsense. You may not realize it, but you are putting estrogen, cancer-causing nonsense, and PETROCHEMICALS into your business when you use mainstream sex toys. It's not studied enough, but it is so clear this isn't good for you. This is one to change for yourself regardless of how you feel about the planet. Keep crazy chemicals out of your body.

3. Stuff is out there. This is the kind of topic I LOVE, because there are SO MANY good options out there. There is no reason not to buy green sex stuff, because it is out there and comparably priced.

These kinds of purchases are just the kind of thing where we tend not to think about the environment- they are private, small, and we don't tend to discuss with others to even hear better options exist. But, we know that your approach to your sexuality DOES have definite environmental consequences. So let's talk about it.

Mainstream can be kind of slim pickings. Adam and Eve is probably one of the largest online distributors, and they have an "eco-friendly" section, but reading the descriptions on each didn't really tell me why each thing made the cut (I learned lots of other things though). BUT we can find you way more. Let's do this.

For Condoms 

If you are running out for condoms, you probably aren't thinking about the environment (well maybe, if that's what gets you), but only having children when you want to is an incredibly green decision to be making. Not to mention, protecting from diseases does all sorts of good for yourself and others as well. Safe sex is essential no matter your orientation and partners.

 We know that a high percentage of pregnancies are unplanned or unwanted (about 38%), so just having children when you are ready/ is right for you/ at the number that actually makes sense to you is essential. Making (fewer) babies and saving the environment is probably one of the deepest and most difficult conversations you can have, but if we could just help people not get pregnant when they don't want to be, that could help significantly.

Ok, so yes, birth control = GOOD. Condoms are especially great because they address diseases and the like. This is the first priority here.

In other words, use the condom. Using a condom that makes waste is still epically greener than having a baby. This is true all over the world. Think of it as a really sexy medical necessity.

That being said, condoms make a lot of waste. The wrapper and the condom itself, in most cases, are not biodegradable in the short term (latex in theory and under the right conditions will biodegrade. Any condoms that materials start with "poly" are made of plastic and will never biodegrade). Have you ever seen a used condom out in the world? It's an icky thing, and can make you feel slimy. Kind of like Adam Levine's face (controversial opinion- Adam Levine is a used condom in human form). Now imagine a giant pile of these used condoms as one of the gifts our generation will hand off to the next one. 10 billion condoms are sold annually.

Well, ick. That's even worse than handing down a giant pile of Adam Levines.

 The question becomes can we get all the greatness of a condom without the high environmental cost? Easy answer. YES! Haha! Let's ejoy the win, shall we? If you want tons of great information on condom material options, check out this article. I will give you a lit of brands to look for, and maybe just buy a bulk box of? This blog believes in optimism, friend. Buy yourself a big old box of condoms. Try one of these-

Glyde- Ethical, vegan, and fair-trade. They also use 100% recycled packaging, green manufacturing, and stay away from petrochemicals and the other nasty stuff found on regular condoms. They are made in Australia, so a big trek for condoms, but otherwise a near perfect choice (and you can get bulk ones here).

L Condoms- This vegan brand also avoids those terrible chemicals like parabens which are tied to higher estrogen levels and incidents of cancer. They also are extremely invested in getting women pads, tampons, and condoms all over the world to help with reproductive health. An easy way to help other women!

Sir Richard's- PETA-approved and vegan, without any glycerin, parabens, or petrochemicals. They also donate a condom for every one purchased.

Sustain Natural- This company has a ton of great eco-friendly stuff, but their condoms are fair-trade AND don't have some of the nasty carcinogenic chemicals you find on regular condoms. Because no one needs nasty chemicals in their business.

As for other forms of birth control, I can't find any information on pills that don't come wrapped in oodles of plastic (seriously, why do we need the stupid plastic holder thing? Or just give us one and we could reuse?). Most environmental research recommends IUD's which have proven to be very effective and use a lot less packaging and such. You can read lots about birth control options here.

For Lubricants

Ok, honestly I had never thought much about lubricants, but did you ever think that oil-based lube is like spreading nasty petrochemicals all over your most delicate business? That these things are entering your body and bloodstream? ICK! Freaking fossil fuels hide everywhere! And before you roll your eyes at me, think about how much cancers and other health problems have grown in the last couple of generations. I think the more we know, the more we will see this is just the kind of thing to blame.

So, if you want to read up on the contents of lube and what you should be looking out for, I think this post is super helpful (also, slightly horrifying).

To find something you like, I recommend checking the same places that sell green toys and green condoms. Also, lube stores seem to pretty commonly have toy cleaners as well. But here are a few to check:

Babeland has their own brand of Babelube, but check out their "natural" formula which skips out on those nasty chemicals.

Earthlybody sells lube and toy cleaners that are based in hemp and natural materials instead of anything synthetic.

Good Clean Love sells a whole line of vegan lubricants. Plus they are owned by women and give 10% of their proceeds to organizations for women. So I love them, obviously.

Sustain Natural has their own line of lubes. Looks great, free of most chemicals and uses aloe vera for moisture instead of nasty chemicals.

SLiquid has a whole line of natural and even more natural lubes, all of which are glycerin and paraben-free.

For Sex Toys

Environmentally-speaking, sex toys tend to face the same challenges as toys (kind of funny, right?). They are made of plastics that go mostly unregulated, but tend to end up inside the body, so they should actually be as chemical-free as possible. Much like toys, you have to be really mindful of what you bring into your home and really look at the materials used in what you use.

Good Vibrations has an amazing selection of "Ecorotic" toys (marked with a leaf symbol), and with them a pitch perfect list of what you should think about when buying sex toys if you care about the environment:

-Body safe- buy things that are straightforward about their materials and which tend to be higher quality. If they won't tell you, you don't want to know. That should be a hard pass.
- Animal products- should an animal die for your funsies? Probably not, but you'd be surprised.
-Rechargable- if the toys' batteries are rechargable, you are cutting down on a lot of waste.
-Natural Ingredients. Seriously, you are better off without fossil fuels in your sex life.
-Recyclable Packaging- YES. Packaging is a key factor in everything we buy. You shoot yourself in the foot if you buy a "green" product in plastic packaging.
-Made in the USA. The closer it is made to you, the less fossil fuels it wastes. And the US has relatively high standards for these things. And you have given your friendly neighborhood sex toy artisan more work! Huzzah!


I won't go through item by item, but Good Vibrations is a good place to start looking, and here are a few other stops to make on your green sex toy journey.

As you Like It is an eco-concious sex toy shop that actually features some of the other brands I list, but they might be a good place if you want to browse without getting bad news every time you click on a product.

Babeland has an eco-friendly section as well, which looks a little professional than some, but when you read their lists, their ideas are solid.

Fun Factory brags about their combination of german engineering and sense of play, but they should brag way more about their factory and manufacturing which has a tiny carbon footprint and ethical labor practices.

For Menstruating

If you have periods but are still using plastic-filled, potentially dangerous disposable tampons and pads, you should know there are TONS of other options out there. Check out this blog post for a short overview of your many options. This is another one of those simple steps that will save you money, save the Earth, and will actually make your life better, so stop putting it off and green your period!

Ok, what am I missing? What other parts of your sex life can be greener?


That's a lot of resources to consider, but they are damn worth considering! Happy times, friends!

Want to make your home greener? No matter the size or location, you can limit your waste and make your house have a more positive impact on the environment. Check out the Green Home Page for thousands of ideas on how to do it.

Next week is Valentine's Day (what? Your grocery store hadn't told you?). This is the first year I've really noticed how much "Valentine's Gifts for Children" is a real thing. I keep seeing "gift idea" lists and suggestions of buying toys, stuffed animals, balloons (screw balloons, friends) etc for this holiday celebrating love? Romantic love?

On the one hand, it makes me roll my eyes (I mean, does your kid really need any new stuff? they definitely don't need a balloon), but on the other, I get it. It's a holiday, and once you have kids, celebrating with them can be really fun. I love holidays, and I don't want to leave my kids out.

Still, if I love them I don't want them to equate happiness and love with getting new stuff. It's kind of like setting them up to need comfort food at every negative emotion- it might help now, but am I setting them up for real happiness?

 Secondly, I hope deeply that they have happy lives, and to me, that means clean water and air, not too many environmental disasters. We don't think of it this way, but overconsumption adds to pollution, waste, and climate change, so this is just another opportunity to cut back and do some good.

You don't need to buy anything for your favorite kids this Valentine's Day. Seriously. They only expect it if you teach them to expect it. 

That doesn't mean you don't celebrate. I have tons of really fun and memorable ideas for Valentine's celebrations with little ones. Let's do this.

1. What I Love About You

Every year, give everyone paper hearts. They can write with a marker (and some help) what they love about each other on the hearts. Everyone writes one heart for each of their family members, and they end up with a little pile of what's lovable about them. Doesn't this seem like a perfect way to encourage kids? Plus it would be fun to see what they come up with as they are growing up.

In future years, you can use the hearts to decorate the house AND to reminisce about the funniest/ sweetest ones.

My aunt did this with her kids growing up, and I love the idea so much that I am completely stealing it, but I thought I should throw it out there so you could steal it too. You don't even have to feel bad- I did it first! We are totally starting this tradition this year.

2. Make Valentines!

I know a lot of people give store bought ones, and it's hard to fight with the Paw Patrol, but making your kids' valentine's cards with them

Here are some of my favorite ideas that are zero or low-waste. If you see something you can't pull off this year, write yourself a note and save up supplies through the year!

- draw faces and cute notes on clementines (kids freaking love those tiny oranges!) these ones might make great inspiration.

- buy seed bombs and decorate a little label for them. You can also find seed paper, which you could write the kids' names on?

- reuse coloring books, scrap doodles, and more for eco-friendly cards. You already have materials! Go through those endless piles of construction paper and coloring books and see if you feel inspired.

from evermine

- fortune cookie valentines (do it with scrap doodle paper from the year?)- this one is from a printable from evermine, but once you see how it works, you could do it with any paper you wanted.

from hello, wonderful

- recycled paper tube crowns- I am so in love with this idea from hello, wonderful. Please, please, someone use this idea so there is a whole room of adorable crown-wearing kiddos.

- paper tube pig valentines- No tiny plastic bags of treats, please. This is cuter.

- recycled cd owls- Couldn't be cuter from Glued to my Crafts! And you could probably make them sturdy enough to keep too.

- painted rocks. I saw one family that did stones with hearts on one side and the simple message You Rock! on the other. Now those kids can throw that happy little rock in their yard or hide it for someone else to find. Makes me happy.

from momluck

-love bugs. Look them up on Pinterest. They are their own thing, and they are adorable. You could come up with your own idea with all sorts of reused materials. Just skip the fruit cups. So annoying.

The ideas are as endless as pinterest, but just sitting around with paper, scissors, and crayons can make for a really fun day. Pick a handful of materials (and just limit the colors) and you can end up with something amazing. You can pick a new project every year or just follow your kid's creative whims. But the tradition of making them all together will be really fun and will even be good for the environment!

from weddingbee

3. Decorate Your Mailbox

Some classes at school have their kids bring in boxes for the Valentine's party. I think this is a great opportunity to reuse things you already have AND start a fun tradition together!

Instead of just buying a box for a Valentine's party, why not make it a really fun project to do together? Even if you aren't regularly arts and craftsy, you could still do something that you find fun?

I have an idea for this that I am really excited about. What if your kid's Valentine's mailbox was an ACTUAL mailbox? You could repaint it every year (be sure to take pictures!) so it always reflects what your kiddo is excited about. Once they grow up, they could use it at his or her house or to hold the cards at his or her wedding.

There are more than 600 already used mailboxes on Ebay, and you can find them at regular consignment stores and construction reuse stores. This cuts out a bunch of waste and makes the holiday really fun.

4. I Heart Food

No matter our background, we generally associate holidays with food. We eat scrapple at my Dad's on Christmas morning. We have ham on Easter. Why not have a fun family food tradition around this holiday?

It turns out, you can make any food in the shape of hearts. I found tons of great ideas- check them out on my Valentine's pinterest board. Here are some of my favorites:

Quesadillas
Pizzas (even really little ones can top a pizza)
Carrots
Caprese Salad
Pretzels/ Garlic Knots
Watermelon
Cupcakes/ Brownies
Cinnamon Rolls
Sandwiches

And the one I really want to try... Ravioli!

A heart-shaped meal is so simple, but I bet your kiddo would remember it. So many options available!

from The Rock Father

5. Do a Heart Scavenger Hunt

This idea is brazenly stolen from Daniel Tiger, but I think it is GENIUS. Kids love games like these, and you could hide hearts all over the house (or yard if you are lucky). These don't have to be anything fancy- just construction paper cut up would be perfect. Your little people will love searching.

If you want to make it a little more sentimental, you could combine this with the first idea and write things you love about them on the hearts. If you have more than one kiddo, you could each do their hearts in one color. You could also paint rock hearts and hide them outside if the weather isn't miserable where you are. So many variations on this simple idea, but you know the kids will have fun.

6. Go Spread the Love

A few months ago, we went to a park and handed out daisies to strangers. I will be honest with you, it was a mixed bag. Some people were obviously touched by the gesture, but others seemed to be slightly concerned a beefy toddler was wielding a flower like an ax and chasing them down the bike trail. Overall, I am glad we did it, but I think I wouldn't pick an exercise track again.

You could steal our idea, and go make someone's day on this day of love. Life can be sad and lonely, most of all on a day where so many are celebrating love. Rather than focusing on the love your kid receives, talk about fun ways to go love on others and do that. That's a huge gift to give them, because nothing feels better than really making someone's day.

Still need more ideas? Check out what's in your neighborhood! Our city's zoo has valentine events for the animals and I just saw a party where you can make Valentines to send to people fighting for the environment! Stuff is out there.

"Where thou art, that is home." -Emily Dickinson

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”


 “In friendship...we think we have chosen our peers. In reality a few years' difference in the dates of our births, a few more miles between certain houses, the choice of one university instead of another...the accident of a topic being raised or not raised at a first meeting--any of these chances might have kept us apart. But, for a Christian, there are, strictly speaking no chances. A secret master of ceremonies has been at work. Christ, who said to the disciples, "Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you," can truly say to every group of Christian friends, "Ye have not chosen one another but I have chosen you for one another." The friendship is not a reward for our discriminating and good taste in finding one another out. It is the instrument by which God reveals to each of us the beauties of others.”  

 God, who needs nothing, loves into existence wholly superfluous creatures in order that He may love and perfect them. He creates the universe, already foreseeing - or should we say "seeing"? there are no tenses in God - the buzzing cloud of flies about the cross, the flayed back pressed against the uneven stake, the nails driven through the mesial nerves, the repeated incipient suffocation as the body droops, the repeated torture of back and arms as it is time after time, for breath's sake, hitched up. If I may dare the biological image, God is a "host" who deliberately creates His own parasites; causes us to be that we may exploit and "take advantage of" Him. Herein is love. This is the diagram of Love Himself, the inventor of all loves.”

 It is easy to acknowledge, but almost impossible to realize for long, that we are mirrors whose brightness, if we are bright, is wholly derived from the sun that shines upon us.”

All Quotes from CS Lewis "The Four Loves"