I just read an awesome and really helpful blog from Fab Working Mom Life about what to remember when you go to the beach with a toddler. I love lists like this, because I am definitely not the type of mom who can remember a bunch of things, and we almost always end up missing something it seems obvious you would have.

Reading the list, I was struck that almost everything on there has awesome eco-friendly options, which made me think everyone could switch out a few things and our beach visits would have a more positive impact. And it is so worth it to do that, because beach days like the ones we enjoy could very well be a thing of the past if we don't clean up our act.

We love our days at the beach, and it breaks my heart that by the time our children are adults, it's expected that the oceans will have more plastic than fish in it. It honestly makes me sick to my stomach to think what my grandchildren's beach days will look like. So if I can make our beach days a little cleaner (and often even cheaper), I am going to do it. If you want to as well, I have some suggestions.

1. A Wet Bag

Instead of throwing all that wet stuff into a plastic bag, bound for the garbage, throw the wet clothes (and even the diapers) into wet bags like these ones from Planetwise. It just goes into the laundry when you get home. I recommend 2 so you can use one for diapers and one for everything else. If you do bring a plastic bag, use it for collecting trash on the beach.

2. Reusable Water Bottles

Easy, money-saving, and will help keep water clean. My favorites are Lifefactory and Liberty Bottleworks. My kid loves his little Klean Kanteen bottle too. 

3. Hats and Sun Shirts

We all need cover from the sun, but slow down your use of sunscreen by covering what you can with hats and shirts instead of giant globs of sunscreen. We usually buy all of this used at the consignment store or Thred Up, because there are tons there. Especially when they are little, these things get one summer of use, so you can find them as good as new.  Bring the sunscreen too, obviously.

4. Reusable Swim Diapers

Even if you aren't generally a reusable diaper family, reusable swim diapers might be a great choice. You just get two per tiny person, and you can switch them out. If you are nervous about it, you can get a size larger and put a normal diaper underneath. Brands that do them are- Thirsties, Smart Bottoms, and  Blueberry.

5. A Change of Clothes

I pack one for each kid and have a back-up set in the car trunk as well. Because toddlers should get to make a mess. We also have a change in the car, because grown-ups should be allowed to make a mess of themselves too.

6. Umbrella for shade (if needed- trees also work for this) and Towels to Stay Dry

These are basic, but no one wants to forget them. Eco-families need towels too. If you need to buy them, check out Big Ass Towels, which have a cheeky (get it? I'll be here all night) name, but great and American-made towels. Otherwise, my suggestion is to always bring as little as you can, because we all schlep that stuff and don't use it.

from Amazon

7. Healthy Snacks in Reusable Containers (no Insta-garbage!)

Just leave the pouches on the shelf at the store. Pack a few small oranges or cut up fruit or whatever treats you all love into a snack container (we swear by these stackable ones from Re-Play). Reusable sandwich bags also work really well for things like crackers. If you want your grandchildren to enjoy the beach the same as you are today, you need to stop using disposable plastic, because it is drowning out our oceans.

8. A Beach Toy of Two (Not Ten or Twenty)

A few cups and a shovel can really do the trick. We all know you bring a kid ten toys and they are going to play with a stick the whole time, so do yourself and the Earth a favor and think small and simple. Those plastic toys will be in landfills and water long after all of us are gone, so we want to avoid that heap. If you aren't a huge beach goer (maybe going on vacation?) check with friends for things to borrow.  Instead of buying new , check consignment stores for things that would work as a bucket or shovel. A consignment dump truck can be a lot of fun too. If you can't find much secondhand, I highly recommend Green Toys beach sets. Recycled plastic for the win!

9. Sandals

Again, if you have kids, find your closest consignment store to save money. We bought our son a pair of Keen sandals, and we never went back. We have one in every size since then (which little siblings are using as well), and even though they are secondhand and WELL used, they hold up- I definitely recommend this brand (find them used and save like 30 bucks). So ugly, but they really stand up to toddler craziness (so you can pass them on to another kid when you are done).

10. An Old Tablecloth to Sit On

I got this genius idea from my mom (who lives in Hawaii, so lots of beach experience). Instead of going and buying a new blanket or towel, just use a retired tablecloth or even shower curtain as your beach blanket. It give a retired item a second life and it works better than anything else we've done. Re-use!



Have a great time at the beach! And if you need more shopping inspiration, check out the Giant List of Shopping Lists!

One of the worries I hear most about giving children experience gifts is that they won't really understand what they are getting. With adults, you can hand them a gift card and they will totally get it- in fact they will probably be excited! One less thing to clean, one more to remember.

Kids aren't so simple.

Most kids "get" toys. By 3, you can count on them to get pretty excited when you put a toy in front of them.

Experience gifts are more abstract, and it means that they don't always get that big reaction. It is hard to forego the complete joy of watching a kid opening a toy when you aren't even sure that the kid you love will understand what is in front of them.

You are messing with all sorts of expectations- toys are NOW, some experience gifts are later. Toys are NEW so they seem SPECIAL, experience gifts can seem actually kind of normal- people take kids to stuff all the time! It can be hard for them to differentiate between something for them or just another thing.

All of these things can make gifting experiences to people intimidating, and the younger they are, the harder it can be to tell if you are getting it right or totally wrong. But the truth is, kids need experience gifts more than anyone; we know that kids actually play less if they have more toys. We know that they need our presence, our complete attention, and our enthusiasm. We know that they need us to care about their interests and to invest in their learning.

Experience Gifts are absolutely the best- here are 99 of our best ideas for a gift they will never forget.

Just ask yourself- how many gifts can you actually remember your parents/aunts/grandparents giving to you? Now think of your best memory with them. Which makes your heart feel full? We can give kids so much by simply caring about them and spending time with them.

So, how do you give an experience gift and still get that excited reaction? I have some ideas!

1. Say it with Art

Kids make art often, and they tend to understand visual languages WAY more than we give them credit for. You can do something simple, like decorate a card with drawings inside. You could make a sculpture or a diorama that they can play with out of clay or just hot glue and the garbage in your house. It does NOT have to be fancy! Think about how many things children make for others, and how little as adults we make for them.

Taking them to a show or movie? Make one of the characters out of cardboard! Something where you can use recycled materials and they can keep/use it a long time is always the best option.

It doesn't have to look beautiful. It just has to have your enthusiasm in it, and you have to be ready to talk about it with them. They will remember that forever. Don't be afraid to be creative- and you can always ask Pinterest for help!

2. Start a Countdown

Did you get tickets for both of your to a basketball game? A weekend at a water park? Print out a picture of where you are going (bonus points if you photoshop them in there). Then make a paper chain of the number of days until the big event. Kids love counting down to things, and it just means that get to enjoy the anticipation phase completely.

3. A Token or a Tool

If you are gifting lessons, think about what kinds of tools they might need to finish the job? When we first got our niece piano lessons, we got two little piano books of music she knew as a gift to go with it. Honestly, I have no idea if she ever used them (though now I bet she could!), but the books full of notes made it clear what she was getting.

4. Use Lots of Pictures

Make a little book of pictures explaining what you are going to do. You can print out a cover that says "Mama and Bob's Special Day." If you are getting an experience

5. Make a Scavenger Hunt

Send the kiddo on a journey through the house to find clues for their gift. It makes the whole thing so exciting, and you can give them little clues about the destination as you go. I have also heard of tying ribbon to tickets, and then running the ribbon all around the house. They can follow the ribbon to the big reveal!



Doing an experience gift is so much better for the kid and it's better for the planet. You can make the whole gift, from the giving to the experience itself so special and memorable that it will totally blast that old toy out of the water. It just takes a little creativity and thoughtfulness about who this little person really is. And that is really what they need from you anyway! Happy Gifting!

So your kid has a teacher you really love, and now is the time of year to show your appreciation. That's awesome! Now, repeat after me "I will not buy this poor soul yet another mug..."

There is so much EPICALLY bad advice out there for teacher's gifts. Most teachers do not need a cutesy mason jar to put their pens in. Or another mug with their name on it. Or candy dressed up in some sort of extra cutesy packaging (that in the end is just extra waste). They are out of room for Knick Knacks, and they don't need something else with an apple on it. I love that people want to do something kind, but these are probably all options worth skipping.



You can give your kid's teacher a gift that they will actually love AND it will be better for the environment. More stuff is just more waste, so when you approach gifts, think about it this way:

Buy Less Stuff- We tend to pick gifts with lots of parts- a gift card! And a mug! With some candy in it! And maybe some pencils or something! At some point, we all internalized this idea that what we are giving isn't enough, so we sprinkle extras on everything. That is a waste! I have seen my dad's wife, an elementary school teacher, come home with gobs of these ribbons and candies and bows- what an they do with all of that? Instead, think simple and useful.

This means that experience gifts and gift cards might be the best thing you can offer. Maybe your help fixing something could be the best gift! It may not make a flashy display, but it means something to them. That's a successful gift.

Buy Secondhand- If you are going to go for classroom supplies to help this teacher out, check out eBay, secondhand stores, and creative reuse stores (there are more out there than you think). You can buy them heaping piles of markers or construction paper for a few dollars, and it will last them much longer.

Buy American- If you want to help the environment, buy things from companies that still manufacture in the US. The further items travel, the higher their carbon footprint, and the more waste they make. You can read more about this on the Green School Shopping list, but by simply buying American-made Crayolas over other crayons, you can have a positive impact.

Buy to Help

Being a teacher is an epically difficult and undersupported job- your support, from a thoughtful letter to a donation to an underserved classroom will be the most powerful gift you can give. Stop thinking about impressing people or keeping up with the Joneses, and think about support instead.

Alright, it's gift idea time! Let's do this.

A Kind Note or Picture

No matter what you decide to gift your kid's teacher, a word of encouragement will be the thing they remember most. Just write them a note to say thank you. Have your kid write a list about their favorite parts of class. Have them draw a picture. Work together with your kid and be specific!

That teacher needs that encouragement, and too often we mask our appreciation in general gifting instead of being specific and vulnerable. If you don't want to be too doting (afraid it looks like you are sucking up), you can still gift a homemade picture or card and save the serious praise for the end of the year.

A Homemade Ornament

Ok, this can be perfect if you don't have a ton of money or if you want to pair something with a (less personal) gift card. Make a small ornament with your kiddo, and put their name and year on it. This can make for a really sweet gift without taking up a ton of room. I have read a lot of teachers love to see how they add up over decades of teaching.

THAT SAID, know your audience. Some teachers love this sort of thing, and some hate it. Easiest way to find out which you are getting a gift for? Just ask! You won't ruin any surprise.

Grocery Cards

So many teachers are struggling to get by, so rather than another cutesy mug, getting them something completely practical like a gift card for groceries. This can help them get through the month of December OR have their own extra spending money for gifts. Just think, if your kid's whole class bought grocery cards as the gift, you could keep that teacher fed for quite a while!

Supplies (or a Gift Card for Supplies)

We all know that many (most) teachers are investing a lot of their own money into their classrooms and supplies, because they don't have the funding they need. You could help by buying bulk sets of crayons (do Crayola, who at least is still made in the US), tissue boxes, or just ask them what they need/want! For eco-friendly and American-made school supplies, check out this list. Soap and/or hand-sanitizer can also be big wins for them.

Also, a really nice set of sharpies or pens can be a big treat. Those things have a way of sneaking off. And who doesn't love the feeling of an excellent pen? My favorite are these recycled plastic ones from Pilot.

If that feels like a big leap, gift cards to teacher supply stores or bookstores can be a really sweet gift as well.

Experiences

Movie tickets, gift cards, concert tickets, restaurant gift certificates. They can't always treat themselves, but these experience gifts take care of them in a really fun and positive way. Want to really make their day? Find out where they go out for drinks or coffee with their coworkers, and get a gift card to treat them to a few drinks (alcohol or otherwise). For a whole host of experience gift ideas, check out this list.

Use your Skills

Have you noticed something that the teacher might need in the room? Things that need fixed or laminated or built? This may seem crazy, but offer to fix it. Sometimes they don't have even have the time to address little problems like these, but maybe you do. Another great one might be to take all those crayon nubbins they have sitting around and melt them down into new crayons for them! It is good for the Earth, and it saves money for the future.

Every teacher can use some sort of help- you can totally volunteer!

A Donation

Have a teacher that is passionate about the environment? Or other cultures? Or has everything for their classroom (but knows other teachers aren't so lucky)? Instead of giving them another gift or tchochky, give a donation in their honor. It could be to an organization you know they care about or to another teacher who is struggling through Donors Choose.

The best teachers tend to be really caring people, so I guarantee you, they are passionate about something. It will feel good for them to know you are helping the world in their honor. You can help in their mission to make the world a little bit better.

Want more ideas for donation gifts? Check out this list of ideas.

Car Wash or Gas Station Gift Cards

I cannot think of anything more practical, but they need this stuff! Treat them to something they need, and they can treat themselves to something they want.

Something to Eat (or Coffee to Drink)

If you want to give them a treat, ask around about their favorites, and actually make something. I know that bag of candy is easier, but all of that individually wrapped goodness creates a lot of waste. Better to make your own truffles or cookies or fudge and cut down on the plastic.

That said, it also doesn't have to be baked! One of my teacher friends says she is already feeling oversugared. Something else to share in the lounge will be a welcome break from the cookies. Want to be just as popular without the work? Buy some ethical coffee for the teachers to share in the lounge- they move right through it!

A Plant

We know that indoor plants can improve the air quality and mental health of everyone in the room. A simple potted plant (maybe with the note "thanks for helping me grow") could be an excellent gift for a teacher and their classroom.

Ok teachers, what am I missing off of this list? What is your favorite gift you ever gave a teacher?

You are planning a trip to Disney! So fun! We just went, and honestly, I had a better time than I expected. I hadn't expected to go, but our family was going and we had the best time going as a big group. Even though our kids are still pretty little (3 and almost 2), I think that we really did make memories with them, and they are still talking about it. Specifically, about Donald Duck, but whatever. Kids are weird. I am sure you will have a memorable trip too.

That said, if you care a lot about the environment, expect to spend a good amount of time wincing. Or at least realizing just how much plastic waste this giant resort complex could be saving! Every so often you see a bright spot (some of the booths at Animal Kingdom use paper straws, for example), but you can't deny there is a lot of thoughtless consumption going on. But that doesn't have to be you and your family. You can do so much good just by shifting some little parts of your vacation!

 So much of it has to do with preparation, so let's talk about the ways being prepared and making some switches can do all sorts of good!

1. Turn Down Straws... A LOT

When someone takes your order, just be sure to say "No straws, please."

Disney is all about going that extra inch, so many of your drinks will come with a straw already in it if you don't speak up. I kept assuming they would bring straws to the table still wrapped, but instead they came already strawed (let's all take a minute and think of the person whose hand germs are in our drink). So I messed up a bunch of times.

Learn from my mistakes. You have to be on your game to ask for no straw, especially at the sit down restaurants.

2. Bring Along Reusable Water Bottles

So easy and it will save you so much money! Single use water bottles are 2.50ish at Disney World. If you buy 4 a day, that is 10 bucks. Over a week, that is 70 dollars. But the parks have plenty of water fountains. Bring a water bottle (we brought our Klean Kanteen) and save yourself money (and keep plastic bottles out of the landfill).

3. Take Advantage of the Transit

I actually really liked staying at one of the resorts in Disney World, and one of the biggest perks was that we skipped the rental car and just took buses (or boats!) everywhere we went. That shared transit keeps tons of cars off the road. Even if you don't stay at a Disney World hotel, call your hotel and check what they do for transit (I mean, its Orlando, so most probably work around Disney World). It will save you tons of money and any shared transit is great for the environment.

4. Stuff your Stuff in your Own Bag

Disney World uses plastic bags! Blech! When I asked about it, they said that the bags are recyclable. Well, ok, but we know that only about 9% of what can be recycled actually is. So just turn down the bag, wear a backpack, and stuff whatever you do buy into the bag you are carrying already. So simple, but it adds up!

5. Pass on Souvenirs. More Memories, Less Stuff

Disney World has so many cute things to buy. If you love Disney characters, you will certainly find something that you might like to have at home.

Cut it down as much as possible. Everything we buy new costs fossil fuels and causes waste. I did not find ONE non-food item at Disney World that was made in the United States, so those Made in Poverty items have traveled hundreds or thousands of miles, wrapped in plastic, for you to buy. So anywhere you can just buy less

 Resolve to only buy one souvenir per family member. Pick one item (we get a Christmas ornament as our one souvenir). Or buy nothing at all. This goes against so much of the momentum of Disney (I know I felt tempted all the time!), but it's one of the best things we can do for the environment. Plus it models to our kids that what we care about is our time together, not the things we buy.

If you want that "special" moment for your kids, plan ahead and focus on experiences instead! Look up where they can meet favorite characters, do a special surprise meal connected to a movie they love, or go to a show that's a surprise for them. Think about what they love to DO, get out your camera, and gift them a special moment that is just about them.

Keep it simple.

6. Brand New Isn't Always Best

Disney is genius at so many things. One of those is marketing, so they always have new products you just need to have. But, if you are trying to minimize your shopping (and therefore needless fossil fuel use and waste), look to what is old, instead of what is new.

Have amazing memories of Disney from when you were kids or life before kids? Bring it with you! Instead of buying a bunch of new stuff, use what you already have. The Boy and I went to Disneyland before we had kids, so this time we brought the same ears, six years later, to wear. We bought our son his first ears, and we were careful to buy something he could keep wearing. I gave my sons a Simba and Nala from my childhood, and they have plenty of Disney toys, but hardly anything is new.

Want to deck out your kids (or you)? Buy Disney clothing secondhand before you go. Disney stuff is so ubiquitous you can find something used. Thred Up always has a good selection of Disney clothing items, so you can deck out your kiddo on theme. I got a Buzz Lightyear shirt and a Nemo shirt secondhand for the trip. Both of my kids were excited, and we got a shocking number of compliments on the Nemo shirt. Thred Up. 6 bucks.

Your kids don't care about that stuff, so save your money and get it secondhand.

7. Skip the Dining Plan

We thought maybe the Dining Plan would save us money, but I don't think it did in the end, and it definitely caused a lot of waste. We didn't eat enough to really justify it, and at the end we were just trying to use up our snacks and fast meals, so we bought a LOT of snacks. All wrapped in plastic.

Maybe the plan saves some people money? But I think in the end being a little more mindful about what we were eating and snacking on wouldn't have hurt us a bit. Learn from our mistakes and just pay for your meals. You can skip when you aren't that hungry, or you could just go simple and have some meals back at your room.

8. Mickey Balloons ARE Cute, But You Don't Need One

Yep, those Mickey heads inside balloons are pretty genius and they do look cute. Honestly, I love the Mickey heads so much too! So get some ice cream with ears or a Mickey waffle or just watch the parade on Main Street. Balloons are terrible for the environment and sea life, so you should avoid them wherever possible.

Yes, the balloon is cute, but you can't bring it home with you, so why waste money on it?

9. Just Get Wet- Don't Fall for Ponchos

Ooooh the poncho. It's like a garbage bag you wear. My husband was so proud of himself for finding reusable ones, but we never even opened the packaging. And it rained everyday. What I noticed in Florida was that when it's raining, it gets to pouring/ thunderstorms really fast, and then they just shut everything outdoors down.

If it's raining that hard, you are going to get inside. If it isn't raining that hard, you are enjoying a nice sprinkle in the midst of heat and humidity. That rain is nice.

So, short version, you won't need the ponchos. It is just water. The sun will dry you right off. Save the money and prevent the waste by just skipping them.

10. Bring Silverware to Rinse and Reuse

If you are going to eat a lot of quick dining while you are there, just pack a set of silverware or two in your bag and pull them out when you need them. It is weird to start at first, but if you start skipping plasticware as a habit, you can keep a lot out of landfills.

I hope you have an amazing trip and that you can enjoy all the good parts of Disney (without buying too much nonsense). What is your favorite green tip for vacation?



Want more eco-friendly advice for living life with kids? There are so many amazing ways to have a positive impact! Check out the Green Family Page for all sorts of simple switches and (dare I say it) fun.

picture by jenny bickel photography

I want my children to have less than I did.

I know this sounds crazy. Who says that? The American Dream includes the idea that we all give our children more than we had. If we are good parents, we dream for abundance for our children. That if we are doing things right, our children have more than we had.

What happens if we want our children to have less?

At the very least, I want my children to have less stuff.

I don't think I have fewer dreams for my children than any other generation of parents did, and I do want them to have more in some ways- more adventures, more stability, more sushi than I did, but I think in the long run, we will do our children a tremendous service if they have less possessions, less spacious living, less baggage.

Before you get offended on my lovely parents' behalf (I am grateful for my upbringing and my husband's), hear me out. We are offered so many conveniences and gadgets to help manage our life, but those conveniences come at a deep cost that our children and grandchildren will have to pay.

-Too much costs our kids their healthy food and water. The (then still relatively new) disposable diapers our parents used for us 20 or 30 years ago still have 400 years on this planet, in the landfills and soil our children will eat from and the water they will drink. These options are way more prominent now- those HORRIBLE snack pouches can't be recycled, so you have saved 3 minutes now, but that pouch will outlive your grandkids. Not actually that great a deal.

- Too much costs our kids the environment. The plastic toys we played with as kids will also outlive our children, and how many do you really remember? Why not only get used or recycled plastic toys for our kids?

- Too much costs our kids their future jobs. Because the market creates a demand for LOTS of toys (more toys is better than better toys), parents are looking for toys that are cheap. To make cheap toys, mainstream companies like Fisher Price and Melissa and Doug make all their toys in China. Those cheap toys mean someone is treated badly, fossil fuels are completely wasted in shipping, and more American jobs that can't compete with the prices fold. So fewer American jobs.

-Too much costs our kids their own happiness. Overconsumption when they are kids set them up for unhealthy habits through adulthood. If something breaks, replace it instead of fix it. More will make you happier (it's proven it never does). We all have to ask when these piles of stuff stop helping us and instead weigh us down.

- Too much costs our kids their time with us. It's well-documented that new American parents are pretty miserable. Some of these problems- like a cultural lack of a support system- can't be solved this way, but other's can. On average, our generation of parents lives in 1000 square foot larger homes than our parents did. What are we doing with all that space? And think of how much time all that extra space (and stuff that fills it) takes- we have to clean all of that! And if you have a toddler, you know life is like 80% cleaning. If we live in smaller spaces, our houses may not scream abundance and variety, but we win a lot of time back to just spend with our kids.

This dream of bigger and better keeps us working that much harder to just survive, when just surviving can be hard as it is. I see these beautiful pictures of children's spaces that look modern and pristine, not overun with toys, books, and clothes. I don't think my house will ever be that minimalist, and I am certainly still new at this.

 But the idea of effectively giving my children less is an ongoing challenge as a parent (we are in need of a purge at my house right now), so I thought I would share the ideas I have had and what has really been working. No one is going to be perfect here, but we can all do a little better. It will make a world of difference to our kids. Let's do this.

1. Say Goodbye to Cable

Enough opinions are floating around about screen time (it rots your kids' brain vs. screenphobia is just the latest stand against Stay at Home Moms), but my beef isn't with a screen. Pick the amount of screen time that works for your family, Netflix it up, but stay away from media with ads. When you have cable, or you are watching any programming directed at children, you need to weed out these overstimulating and overpromising snippets.

Ads are designed to send a constant message- you aren't enough, you don't have enough, and that you won't be happy until you have this thing.

This is a pretty dangerous game of desire for anyone, much less kids. And before you roll your eyes and think your child is above it, just remember that these people really, really know what they are doing. They get degrees in how to send that message. They do research on how to do it most effectively. They get paid millions of dollars to do it. This is a serious business, and they are good at it. But, there is no law saying your kid needs to watch things that tell them what they want. Even

You get to choose what normal is, and do your kids a favor by keeping cable out of your home.

2. Just Stay Away from the Toy Section

Kids can't want every toy on the shelf if they don't know what is on the shelf.

The best way to get out of this game of desire is to just refuse to play. Stay out of the toy sections of most stores, and they won't know every little thing that is out there. If your kids are older, don't shop at stores you know will cause drama. Will this save you from the occasional breakdown in the grocery store? Nope. Does it mean your child will never want toys they see at friends' houses? Nope. Is this guaranteed to save you from Elsa or the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Nope.

But it does make wanting stuff less a part of their regular life. We are trained to see wanting more as a regular part of life, but I have had really good luck sidestepping this whole narrative by staying out of places that encourage them to want stuff.

When we are at Goodwill, I will let my sons pick out one thing to take home. Anywhere else, they can look, even touch, but nothing is coming home with us. The less time we spend in Target's toy aisles, the less I have to have this fight.

3. Slow Your Roll Out

My sister in law taught me this, and it is genius. When her son would get a giant pile of loot from a birthday or Christmas, she just packed a bunch back up and gave them out when he seemed bored with the last thing. After Christmas, let 2 or 3 gifts stay out, and everything else goes into storage. As the previous gifts wear out (over weeks and months), another new object can come out.

We love that feeling of abundance, that fantasy of the super full Christmas tree, but gifting that way isn't very practical and the kids can't appreciate it anyway.

Kids can only process so much at a time, so those big gift mountains seem cool, but lots of toys get lost in the shuffle. Most children do get sick of things. Instead of constantly needing new toys, you just use what they were already gifted and Christmas last much longer! When they are little, they will not know the difference. When they are a little older, you can let them choose what will be a "now" toy and what will be a "later" one.

from Mum in the Madhouse

4. Make Giving a Family Tradition and Habit

At Christmastime, many families have an advent calendar with treats inside. What if this year, each member of your family gave one thing away every day in Advent? Or connected it to holidays that you celebrate? To teach your kids about taking better care of the Earth, you have to illustrate the act of giving. Let them pick toys to gift.every day during a holiday season, then go together as a family to give it away.

Make it a tradition, whatever time of year you have the most time. Have your spring cleaning tradition include a big family day where you drop things off and donate things to charities. Let them participate with you on Buy Nothing once a month. Pick what works for you, but pick something and include your little ones.

Another way to bring this in? Don't have gift birthday parties; if you think people can't help but bring something, ask for donations instead. We have been to cool parties that collected for women's shelters and for the humane society. Decouple holidays with "you get lots of stuff"- you will be surprised just how little they miss it!

 I whole-heartedly believe that we have to model the behavior we want to see from our children, so if you want them to be generous (and non-materialistic), then you have to make giving a regular part of life. It well help your house stay cleaner, help them assess what they really care about, and in the end could be such a fun tradition!

5. Celebrate a New Kind of Birthday

Birthdays can be a serious challenge if you are trying to raise kids with less stuff. Even if you don't buy a lot (we buy our kids one gift for each birthday), one party full of well-meaning people, and your house might be overflowing with plastic nonsense.

So one of the key skills to protecting your kids from stuff is answering the "what does Betty want for her birthday?" question. The answer should always start with "Honestly, time with you. She loves being with you!" Encourage family to gift experiences and memberships instead of toys. Doubly encourage them to actually go and have that experience with your kid. They won't get that immediate high of a gift being opened, but I guarantee you that memory-making time (at the zoo, the symphony, at a park for a picnic, at their favorite pizza place, check this post for ideas) will become an addictive gift. Need more ideas? Check out these posts for 1, 2, 3 and 4 year olds' minimalist gifts.

That said, some people will never listen to you. Brush it off and move on.

The other big key? Throw a No Gift birthday party. In some areas, saying no gift is pretty commonplace, in others, it is mind-blowing. Either way, you are doing the right thing AND opening the door or some other parent to do the same thing. Here are our best tips on how to say "no gifts" on an invitation without offending people. Stick to it by skipping the terrible goodie bags full of nothing, so you aren't giving unwanted gifts either. Give really good food and a fun time instead.

That said, some people will still bring a gift. It's ok. The goal here is to cut down on gifts, not to eliminate them completely. All of these things give your child the gift of seeing celebrating as something bigger than just receiving things.

6. Spend More Time Outside

Inside, my kids will beg for screen time or dump out the toy basket looking for just the right Hot Wheels car. Outside, they can stay busy with a stick and a pile of rocks for HOURS. Encouraging exploration and imaginative play outside helps your child's development. Time outside encourages a love for nature, collaborative play, and growing that beautiful imagination.

I love play outside. For whatever reason, I am a better mom just from being outside. I am just calmer and happier, I don't have to worry about mess, and I let my kids take more risks. My goal everyday is for my kids to spend at least one hour outside. Studies show 4-6 (!!!) hours is ideal. Outdoor play reminds us just how little kids need to entertain themselves, and if you have reached the end of your rope with your kids, my best advice is to just go outside.

7. Don't Buy Characters

If given the choice, our kids are going to want the backpack or lunch box with their favorite character on it. Who wouldn't want Moana with them at school? I highly recommend you buy things with plainer colors and make them last. Your kids' taste in characters will change, sometimes pretty dramatically, but a plain red or blue backpack/ lunchbox/ bed spread can last many years. Shop with the intention for something to last 5+ years, because the longer it lasts, the less you have to buy.

If you want to make it fun, look up patches or stickers on Etsy and add the characters in a more low key (and removable) way!

8. Stress Connection, Not Consumption

We know that people use shopping and consumerism to try to avoid problems from loneliness to sadness and more. Even for kids, we are looking to improve moods or avoid the ever-terrifying boredom. Our kids need more connections to others, not more consumerism!

Don't shop as a passtime. Have a playdate instead. Especially when they are younger, encourage their friendships and cure boredom by spending time together. Go to a playground, library, or community center; the goal here is to encourage them to find newness and excitement in the company of others, not in the accumulation of stuff. This seems obvious, but it is one of the things each generation struggles with more.

This also makes life easier on the parents, especially stay at home parents. You need connections too. These relationships with other parents and other kids can minimize boredom and offset the loneliness of being a poop manager all day long. You definitely get a positive rush from shopping, but sustained happiness comes from the feeling of being in a community and the bonds we have with others. Just shifting our mindset to focus on those bonds will also change our relationships to stuff.

9. Don't Buy More Storage, Cut Out Stuff

The first problem lots of us face is that our house is ALREADY overflowing with stuff. How can we be minimalists if our house is already out of control?

It can be so tempting when the toys are taking over to think of more storage solutions. I get that, and I am not saying we don't have a plastic tub of toys in the basement, but before you get another toy box, book shelf, or hot wheels shelf, why not just give things away?

To have a house that makes sense, you need places for everything to go. If you no longer have enough destinations for toys, maybe there are too many toys. If you have so much storage that your kid can't see all of their toys in a day, you probably have more than they need.

This can be particularly helpful if you start when your kids are older. If you talk about their things in terms of a limitation of space, you can narrow down the things that need to stay based on spatial limitations. They can only keep as many books as fit on the shelf, toys that fit in the basket, etc. Just know, they will not pick the things you wish they would. You have to have some peace in that before things even start.

passed to us by a neighbor, passed on to a third child in the neighborhood

10. Swap, Borrow, and Get it Used

The difference between a minimalist lifestyle and a house full of stuff (even for kids) is seeing possessions as temporary. Join a library and you always have a resource for new books (and a place to connect with other moms and kids). Join your local freecycle or Buy Nothing groups, you can pass kids stuff around. Just ask friends if they want to do book or toy swaps to switch things up in your house.

 I feel like as kids, we treated our toys and collections like they were essential parts of our identities, and it made it hard to let them go even as adults. But your kid can still love Frozen without having every Elsa and Anna item in the world (is that even possible? God bless Disney and their marketing genius). Only a few things can be precious, everything else should be moved around before it sticks to a spot on the shelf.

Every parent of a toddler is constantly encouraging them to share (it's tough!), but this is a way to push that a step further, treating sharing as a part of life. The more they do it, the easier it gets to flex that muscle. That said, if they are adamant about keeping something, don't push it. That can set them up for failure later. But keep borrowing and sharing; it's a good feeling!

11. Have Confidence They Have Enough

This is easy to say but so hard to feel. Parents right now are under constant pressure about how they manage their kids, their time, their money, everything. We can look around and see someone else who is doing a better job in various ways. We feel self-concious because that Stay at Home Parent gives their kids so much time (and loves to talk about it) or the double income household has so many resources for travel or activities. We feel frustrated because we can't give our kids everything they want. We try to compensate by giving little gifts because we can see how happy it makes our kids, even for a second.

We have to have confidence we are giving our kids what they need. Parenting is so tough, because success can me so hard to define or measure- how do you ever know if you are doing alright? Sometimes shopping is as much about ourselves as our kids, because we can at least feel certain we are providing. A bigger house or well-dressed kid makes us feel like we are filling their needs well, not just enough.

Abundance feel like success, but it isn't. You know that, because no number of shopping trips really makes us feel like we are enough. If it worked, you would feel amazing already. Don't set your kid up for the same race with no finish line.

You are an amazing parent, and this job is HARD.

There isn't a void that you need to fill. Nothing you can buy will make up for that thing you wish you had done better.  It's a cliche, but your kid really does just want to be with you. Go to a playground instead of a store, and you will give them something worth remembering. Get clothes and toys used and save your money. Your kid doesn't know the difference, and you just have to keep building yourself up that you are  doing great at this job just by caring and getting in there. I don't know how to build this confidence more other than reminding ourselves, but it's a constant battle we need to fight. Buying mostly doesn't make us do a better job, but taking the pressure off and just enjoying our kids does.

12. Use What You Have

We all know kids love cardboard boxes, but it is amazing how far you can make one cardboard box go for play time. Blanket forts make amazing memories too, but this is just the tip of the iceberg.

At my job, people donate all sorts of objects that could be "art supplies" for a shopping space and classes for kids. This includes baby food jars, toilet paper rolls, flooring samples, jewelry boxes, gift wrap, broken crayons- all kinds of stuff we tend to see as junk and throw away. But you reframe that for a kid (turn the jewelry box into a robot, use the toliet paper rolls to make fireworks, make a "home" for a stuffed animal), and you can provide hours of entertainment, conversation, learning, and creativity. This isn't conjecture, it is my job and I see it all the time. Junk, when mixed with creative framing, is always an opportunity. Need a rattle? Clean and fill an old bottle with beans.

 That kind of creative play isn't always easy to come up with, so thank goodness we live in the time of pinterest. You can find so many ideas on there.

13. Slow it Down and Just Be Together

I know I am so guilty of this one. As an introvert parent of an extreme extrovert, I often feel desperate for a minute to just catch my breath (or check my email), and some days I know I don't enjoy the time with my kid as much as I should. I feel sometimes like toys are partially just tools to give parents a minute.

Whenever an older generation parent tells me "Oh it goes so fast," I try hard not to roll my eyes. Really? Because this sleep deprivation is making everything move in slow motion. I feel like a zombie, but with worse skin and hair.

But there is a lot of wisdom in the suggestion to let things go and slow down to our kids' speed. It doesn't mean we don't get those minutes or that we don't deserve a break while working and parenting, but when you are going to be there, really be there.

 The Bub and I have literally spent hours (this week) playing with a baseball hat and a pair of kitchen tongs. Even with older kids, you don't need many objects to have a perfectly great time. Go for a walk. Go to a playground. Just listen to them. Children are just tiny human beings, and they just want heard like everyone else. A game of tag (or robot tag) can be more fun than any toy, so the more you can focus when the quality time comes, the fewer things you need.





So there you have it, buy less and give more. It will help them be their best selves, minimize everyone's stress, and you get to clean less!

Change the goals and you may just raise kids who aren't as caught up in this consumerist minefield we are all trying to navigate right now. We both know it creates a lot more work, a tremendous number of problems, and very little of the happiness or solutions that we are constantly promised. We can protect our children's futures from waste and from that constant want by shifting our attitudes now. Let's give ourselves a freaking break and give our kids less.

Here are a few of the best things I found in my research and adventures this week. I believe everyone can shift away from consumerism and waste no matter where they are in life, and lucky for all of us, there are good ideas, great products, and good news about the environment all around. Yes, it sounds crazy, but there is good to be seen.

1. Low Tide

 Seattle Aquarium does these amazing events where their employees will come hang out on a beach at low tide and tell people about the creatures they can find.  I just think this is the coolest. It wasn't a huge hit with a toddler, but he did enjoy throwing rocks in the water and watching the trains, so he still had a good morning. And his toddler buddy had a great time (she was so cute!), so I think it depends on the kid.

Mostly, I am happy to live in a city where there are lots of adventures to be had, so he never really questions why no new toys are bought. You may have fewer options where you live, but I bet if you poke around you will find some fun stuff you would have never thought to try. And there are tons of cool lists out there for summer bucket lists for toddlers, so there is always another option to try before the toy aisle in Target.

And no matter what, helping your kiddos get outside and fall in love with the natural world around them is so important for their happiness and their future as the stewards of this place. Time outside is always well-spent time.

2. Terracycle Takes Cereal Bags

 ALERT! Your seemingly unfixable eco-crappiness may still be redeemable. Just read today that you can terracycle the pesky bags inside cereal boxes (I have given them up, but The Boy loves his bran flakes and raisins. And the little ones love Cheerios almost as much as we hate them). Terracycle is still a bummer in some ways, because recycling is not nearly as successful as just not making the waste in the first place. But it still feels like a waste-free angel to even have an option.

Also, want to do something great for the world you are living in? Check this site out and see what you could be terracycling. Bonus points if you can set things up in a collective spot and help others as well!

3. Peas and Asparagus Salad

 We tried a new salad this week that was relatively simple, but it was really delicious. Salads that aren't lettuce with a tomato and piece of cucumber all still seem fancy to me, but I like that our quest to cut down on meat is leading us to some new cool stuff. Also, shallots. Shallots are like if onion and garlic had a baby, and I love it.

4. Green Guru

 I am on the hunt for Made in America and eco-friendly carry on luggage (let's just not talk about how it is going), but I did find this company Green Guru, which has diverted 500,000 lbs of material out of landfill and turned it into cool outdoorsy backpacks and bike gear. I am not outdoorsy, but I love them. Also really like Tom Bihn, but I don't think we can afford him!

5. Visits from my Mom

She comes in like a tornado and leaves like a tornado, but in her 24 hour visits, she pulls us back up and makes us feel empowered to keep being grown ups, even though being grown ups is the worst. She is living proof that the best thing you can give someone is your presence (also, giving infant parents a night off so they can sleep makes you a saint). The Bub and the Bear eat up time with her, and I am just so glad we got 23 hours and 30 minutes with her.

6. Seed Bombs

I am obsessed with seed bombs and plantable paper as a party favor or decoration (so much cooler than anything else I have seen), but I wasn't planning on making it, just buying it. This week, I read a tutorial from Joybilee Farm on how to make them yourself, and it looks so easy! Debating whether we could do this as Christmas ornament gifts this year.

What green discoveries have you made lately? Have a great week!

1. Brotherly Love- Not to get too saccharine, but I cannot imagine this whole "bringing a baby home to your toddler" thing going better. Bubba does call his brother Succulent, and he does talk a lot about how his brother is "eating boobs again," But all in all, this is hard to top.


2. Amazing Nurses and Doctors- We lucked out with our nurses this time, and even better, my actual doctor within the practice was on call that day, and that was awesome. It was a good reminder of how much someone who really cares about their job can make a difference, and I am seriously sending this nurse a card, because she was so amazing.

3. VBAC's are Overrated- Ok, maybe I am still too close to have much perspective, but now I have done both a vaginal birth and a c-section now. They both are solidly sucky and great in relatively equal measure. I am glad I did it, just to prove to myself I can, but beyond that, I don't think I gained much from the experience. You don't get a special medal for going through it, and in fact in my case, they took the Bub away for two hours, so my c-section felt a lot more about our bond than my vaginal birth did. What am I saying? You do what works for you, but like so many Mommy things, people's insistance that one route is infinitely greater mostly turns out to be a bunch of nonsense. Do what works for you, and let the rest go. If you have a healthy baby and momma, you have succeeded.


4. Top Pot Victory Doughnut- Alright, a few things about vbacs are way better. One of the biggest perks is that you can eat very soon after. It doesn't have to be a doughnut, but it certainly doesn't hurt. God bless my Mother for bringing me this doughnut. And on that note...


5. My Mom- She changed her flights last minute and flew the day after surgery to be there when the Little Bub was born. The day after surgery. At a moment's notice. I have to be one of the only laboring women in history who was asking her doctor to slow things down however possible. So grateful for this amazing person who springs into action when we need her and who really shows that when you care, nothing can get in your way. I have often said she is a badass angel, but this took it to a whole new level. Thank you God for putting such a wonderful person in our lives and in the delivery room with us.


6.Laura Linney, Patron Saint of Birth- What kind of cool is it that PBS was having a Downton Abbey marathon through Labor Day weekend while we were laboring? It was almost more Edith than we could stand, but it made everything a little more fun. And if it hadn't have been on, we really would have been in trouble. Or at least bored. We did watch something else while they killed off Sybil, because that just seemed unhelpful for childbirth.


7. Reusable Nursing Pads- Nursing moms everywhere, I beg of you, skip the disposable nursing pads and get something like these from Love your Reusables instead. I love them- way more comfortable, easily cleaned (I mean, really, it's just breast milk) and I can use the same small stack for the whole time instead of constantly creating more landfill-filler. It may seem more expensive, but the per use cost is so much lower.

8.A Semi-Sleeping Baby- I don't want to jinx us, but I am currently so excited to have a little one who will go back to sleep after he eats, rather than staying up for hours on end every time. Again, a lot of optimism at play here, but I am hopeful we might stay closer to human this round!


9. Etsy Going Home Clothes- I mean, it's dancing dinosaurs for goodness sake! I love this outfit from Little Beans Baby. If you want a great outfit for a little one at any age or moment, be sure to check Etsy first.

10. Roy Schneider in Jaws- Why do I find his giant glasses and turtleneck to be so on point? This movie is making me really think about things. Not so much sharks, just 1970's male fashion mostly. Also, why is his wife not wearing pants? Also, never turn your back to the ocean, people. Overall, I like the film way more than I thought I would, so that is interesting, but not as interesting as the strange appeal of Roy Schneider's face.