6 Things You Should Totally Do at Applefest... For Us

by - Thursday, October 02, 2014

We have had a good two days, and there is plenty to be grateful for, but more importantly Applefest starts in earnest tomorrow. I know all you crazy kids will be out and about, but between your merriment, take a moment for those of us who cannot appreciate the joy of Franklin's colorful trees, packed sidewalks

1. Awkwardly Avoid Eye Contact with Someone at the Apple Pancake Breakfast- I love this part. If you don't awkwardly avoid talking to at least one person who also mostly doesn't want to talk to you, you are missing the magic of your small town filling back up with people. So kick the whole thing off with pancakes and just the right amount of awkwardness.

2. Buy a Ridiculous Craft (Extra Points if It's a Little Bit Racist)-We bought a shell with Native American stereotypes on it back in high school, and i think we also have one with the Pope. If you share the political leanings of everyone I block on facebook, maybe a nice rebel flag related item? I also like the tire swings and any kind of clay figurine. Oooooh! Also, anything with a lot of glitter glue.

3. Eat Leonardo's bread-Savor every bite, because it does not get any better. If you get pizza, think of me.

4.Complain About Traffic at least Once (Car and Foot Both Count)- Oh Franklin, and your one weekend of traffic.  it is ridiculous, and then when you finally find parking, you can be in shock at how many people just stop in the middle of wherever you want as long as it is incredibly inconvenient to everyone else. Do they not notice? Or arethey encouraging everyone else to stop and appreciate the moment? Even better? People with giant strollers. Like big enough to hold 6 babies. Bonus points if there are no spawn to be seen.

5. Pretend to be Interested in Classic Cars for as Long as You Can- If you make it longer than 5 minutes, you do better than me. I figure you just pick your favorite and move on. You would absolutely school me if you had a conversation with one of the owners, though then you have to make conversation with strangers, so weigh your options on that one.

6. Go to Chicago-This show, from what I read, is no place for children (you have been warned, in case you have never heard of Chicago before). So watch out, because the Barrow is encouraging some serious hoodlums. Or just go see an amazing show which everyone has been singing the praises of since it opened last week. With lots of my favorite people involved. And tell me all about it, so I can be super jealous.

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