Bumpwatch Week 30

by - Sunday, September 14, 2014






How Far Along: We just finished our 30th week! Now, this is when the Bump actually loses its mind, because apparently the baby is the size of a cucumber. A cucumber? Really? What hot house are we talking about here? Also, if all I am housing is a mutant cucumber, why do I keep expanding like a balloon?

Best Moment of the Week: Not having gestational diabetes! I had to take the long test this week, which included lots of blood taking and pregnancy quizzes (apparently I will be a laid back planner mom... so yeah). I found out the next day that I don't have the Betes, so we celebrated this weekend with ice cream. I was mentally prepared to step up my diet, but it's good news I don't have to.

Most Interesting Prego Quirk: Eventually you only have so much room inside of you, and at some point (for me, around when he became the size of Larry the megacucumber) there isn't enough room for everything to function. This is why pregos are so ready for it to be over by the end. I now get it. Basically, you just have to get used to your basic functions not being completely cooperative.

I Would Really Like Some: Nectarines. Also, scallops. Also, a ham sandwich. As has been the case for the first 30 weeks, I would like all the food, please.
 
Bizarro Thing No One Warned me About:  Some people's belly buttons pop into outies. Some people's belly buttons linger in a weird place and no longer take straightforward paths inward. Also, these mutants look weirdly like they are smiling. I would prefer to just be Pilate with no belly button. It may be the creepiest thing my body has ever done. Everyone talks about the cute outies, but no one really expands on the strange dilemas your belly button starts to face.

And The Boy?: He has started conspiring with BBG. For example, he says "Bumbo Baby, if you kick me in the next 24 hours, it means you NEED a raspberry and I should raspberry your mom's belly all the time." Since the parasite is quite the dancer, I assume this will only escalate, and I am not sure I like them working against me.

Looking Forward to: Jury duty this week! Yeah, time to do some civic dutying. Also, it would be a bummer if I actually felt caught up with my life, so this should keep it interesting. We have our first baby class on Saturday, which is about baby safety and should be truly horrifying. Other than that, things should mostly plateau because we have no more travel until our spawn travels with us, outside of my uterus. 


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