Top 100 Things I Want to Show my Kids Before They Turn 12 Part 2

by - Thursday, September 05, 2013

Alright, Day 2! I am sure you are chomping at the bit to see what other tidbits we will cast on our spawn!

61. Tangled- I hated Brave. The more I think about Brave, the less I like it. Brave, from what I can tell, suffers from thinking that having a girl not want to get married is more of an empowering motivation than wanting to get married. They are about the same thing! And the funny thing is, girls are motivated by endless things. At least as many as boys, so it would be nice to see them get off the spectrum. Brave's other big problem is that it came out after Tangled, and Tangled did it better. Rapunzel's first number perfectly addresses the fact that cooking and cleaning and doing Snow White type business can get boring. She is spunky and full of adventure, and beats people up with a frying pan. Is it the perfect feminist statment for little girls? Well, no, but it perfectly articulates that feminine isn't anti-feminist AND that is alright, even good, to want more than what people tell you you should want.

62. All things Winnie the Pooh- “Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day.”I think we have reached the point in the list where I am constantly surprised it isn't further up. Just the sweetest, saddest, loveliest books. Also, for whatever reason, I always hear Winnie the Pooh in my Grammy's voice.

63. The Lion King (the movie or show)- The movie is great, but I think the show would be really impressive for a little kid. We went to see it in Toronto when I was a teen, and I just thought it was super cool. Now that I know more about Lions and the way they breed, it is creepier, but you can't win them all.

64. Shrek- Have you ever had the experience where you start watching this on Tv and then you remember this movie is really really funny? It is such a good one! Also, it features another kick butt princess, and a resolution where she ends up an ogre and happy. Plus, we still make jokes about the muffin man. And it ends in a Monkees song! Just so many good things! I think I have missed all but one of the sequels, and maybe that is a good thing?

65. Coraline- This movie is so demented and bizarre. It also introduces a bunch of characters in a kind of Wizard of Oz type manner that doesn't exactly pay off. But it is also beautiful to look at and features a pretty hilarious heroine. 

66. Veggie Tales- "You are his cheeseburger. His yummy cheeseburger. He'll wait for youOU! Oh! He'll wait for youOU!" The animation in the early Veggie Tales movies are looking pretty raggedy, but the songs and storytelling are still a really fantastic way to introduce Bible Stories to your kids. I love them. Also, I want to live in a house where I can sing "Oh where is my hairbrush" and to have someone respond. That's really all I want from life.

67. Mulan- Oh man, this isn't higher??? Mulan is kind of becoming my favorite Disney Princess of all time (unless we are counting Leia). I really like this movie, and it is a great one for kids, though it still doesn't pass the Bechtel test. I wish I had grown up with this one, and I hope it becomes a favorite for my kids too.

68. The Warhol Museum/ Carnegie Museum of Art- I feel like the Carnegie Museum is kind of like the Smithsonian (another great choice that I didn't pick) because you can do the science stuff or the art stuff. Everybody can learn things, and I think it is important to start kids off looking at art and feeling comfortable in spaces where you learn things. Plus, the dream is to live in Pittsburgh, and I wouldn't stop going to museums just because I have spawn.

69. Robotech- What kind of parents would we be if our kids didn't know all the Min Mai songs before they finished elementary school? Maybe we would only do the Macross Saga, because the other 2/3rds don't hold up to the awesomeness of the first. It's hard to say.
70. Fantasia- Beautiful with lots of hippo ballerinas and centaur boobs. I love the gorgeous fish. I just think it is such a weird piece of moviemaking, but I remember really liking certain (centaur mating) sections as a kid. Really, if I found it pretty, I was in.

71. The Land Before Time- I learned this summer that you can tell how old someone is by how dearly they hold this movie in their heart (also, if they had ever heard of Fern Gully... do you know that movie did not transcend into later times?). If you aren't rooting for Little Foot after he loses his momma, you are an asshole. Maybe we can use this to test whether are kids are jerks or not. Then we can throw their heartless jerkfaceness out of our house. 

72. Charlie Brown Christmas- This one needs no explanation. The tree! The music! The Charlie Brownness! The fact that they actually read bible verses! It is a Christmas classic through and through. I could have just done Christmas things for the whole list, but I figured I should diversify. 

73. The Portland Children’s Museum- Just another one that is totally based on my own experiences. The real dream is that we will be able to take our kids to Maine like we went when we were kids. The Lake smells like my childhood to me. Even better, I associate the whole region with children museums, especially the one where you played in a firetruck and milked (water from) a cow. This is what is important in life. I think you caught lobsters as well? TP and Pag might remember the other highlights, but I remember that being one amazing museum.

74. The Lord of the Rings Movies- We have debated how old you have to be to enjoy these movies. Petey loves the lego video game, but its not clear whether he understands the story. The Hobbit (the book) makes an appearance later, but I think any time after they have read that story they could watch the LOTR films. If they happen to be really into long detailed (also, boring) battle descriptions, they could just read the books.

75. Toy Story- It's a classic. Can I pair this with the early Pixar shorts? Or all pixar shorts? Because those are sweet and amazing. Also, who can resist the idea of your toys coming to life when you aren't around.

76. Hans Christian Anderson- Danny Kaye. A giant ballet of the Little Mermaid. Great for little kids. 
77. Jane Austen- I feel like 10 or 11 is about the right age to be introduced to Sense and Sensibility. I still love those books, but they aren't actually that challenging. Plot-wise, nearly nothing happens. They aren't hard to follow, and they are pure joy.

78. Europe- This was the Boy's answer when I asked him. He feels like we should raise kids who are used to traveling. Considering how we live now, it's hard to imagine that our kids wouldn't be, but I do like the idea of taking kids to somewhere really cool. I like the idea that they understand how big and varied the world is from a young age. Plus, it is scary to think we only have a few years to travel, and then once kids are around it is all over. 

79. I Love Lucy- Another classic!I have such fond/ odd memories of watching this at my Great Grandma's house, while eating weird vanilla ice cream with black spots and being covered in newspaper. Sadly, we probably won't give the whole experience to our children, but maybe I will write another list for the crazy stuff I am going to do when I am an old lady and I CAN. I will be the best old lady ever. Really, children are just the bridge to grandchildren.

80. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory- Gene Wilder is amazing, but let's face it, those grandparents are the laziest bums in the world. Really? Let your daughter work herself to death while you lay around and your grandson picks change off the street, then the first offer you get for a candy vacation you suddenly have legs? What a selfish asshole! Still, once you get to the crazy boat ride and the blueberry, not to mention the oompa loompas, shit gets good.

You May Also Like


  1. I've never seen the movie, but I remember reading Coraline in elementary school and being absolutely terrified (but without being able to stop reading). I totally had forgotten about it until now!