30 Day Lady Positivity Challenge

by - Saturday, September 14, 2013



Day 15- Something that you think is beautiful about yourself.

 I think it is totally taboo for a woman to say "yeah, i think i am beautiful" (even more taboo than a woman genuinely expressing and explaining the beauty she sees in others) or if she does so, it is in a kind of vague way. No one wants to seem vain or narcissistic, but I think there is something important in seeing each other be open and honest about what we like in ourselves, and that includes our looks, our bodies, etc.


That being said, this was fucking hard to write! I certainly don't want to cross some line into self-worship or aggrandizement, and I can't imagine anyone would actually want to read that anyway. On the other hand, I don't want to just cop out and pick something lame. So I am doing two, and if you want to judge me, you can. That is certainly your choice. On the other hand, you could think about two things that you actually really like about yourself, that you might even be too embarassed to say out loud, but are important.

I can remember as a teen always really liking what I saw in the mirror in the morning, then feeling worse and worse about it as the day went on. I knew I was supposed to feel bad about myself because I was curvier and pretty unkempt. Now, as an adult, I find myself attracted to the same kinds of aesthetics that I did then. I am happier now than I have been in a long time, and I think part of that is simply due to having paint on my jeans again! I am happy to focus on clothes and color and pattern again because they make me happy, and I don't want to apologize for it.

Anyway, I am sick of women only saying shitty things about themselves, and that includes myself. I get really bored with the internal debates about it, and I look at my older female family members and just think "man, you fight these demons forever and you never win." So this is the change of approach. Anyway, the first thing that came to mind is a bit of a cop out, so I am going to do it and then a harder one.

First, I think my feet are really beautiful. I am told very often that I look like my mom (which I think is a huge compliment) but my feet are the only part of my body that is basically a carbon copy.  We both have long toes that curl underneath and teeny tiny toenails that stick out like knives when they grow. Though neither of us are exactly pedicure girls (it creeps me out usually), our feet are usually "dressed up"- my mom loves toe rings and we both always have painted nails (this is partially just so you can see they are there; they are very little!).

I love my Mom's feet because you can see she has worked them really hard. She has broken toes and missing nails from her years of marathon running. I broke one toe, from accidentally kicking my own couch I think? One of my feet was even run over by a car! My toes face slightly different hazards. Most dangerously, being attached to me!


 Despite what I put them through, my feet take me everywhere. My Mom has absolutely beaten the daylights out of hers, but she keeps putting one step in front of the other. My feet almost mastered toe typing, can pick up all sorts of things, and is always the first thing to touch all bodies of water. When I see water, my feet somehow know and just beg to get in. Also, I just think there are cute and I love dressing them up in shoes.

Ok, so kind of a cop out answer? I couldn't decide (but I still wanted to show off my super cute toes and goat feet), so here is one more.

 I think I have a nice smile. I like that my smile takes over my whole face and that they make me squinty. I like the gap in my teeth and that I have really big cheeks that push my face around when I smile. They are like the bullies of my face, but in a good way. I also think my eyes look weirdly nice when they are tiny. I think my eyebrows are actually bigger than them, and I like that. I just think that I look the prettiest when I am happy.

 I feel like in general I would like to be a person with positive and welcoming energy. The nice thing is that the easiest first step in that is just smiling! It is so easy! I also am proud of the fact that I am the kind of person who doesn't just get through things, but I feel like I am usually trying to see the positive and fun in them. I think I am a person who is genuinely happy for other people most of the time, and I take most of my happiness from loving others. It makes me really happy to cheer for someone else ,and nothing in this world makes me happier than my family and The Boy. I feel like I can find something to be grateful for in most situations, and that balances out my skepticism.

This year especially, I feel really proud of myself for pushing myself to do the things that actually make me happy AND that I am stopping being embarrassed about wanting to make others happy too. Like, teaching 6 year olds to make stuff that makes them happy is a pefectly wonderful way to spend my summer, even if it doesn't make me any more important in the world. I got my ass kicked and ate the biggest serving of failure in my life, but I think I got through it and 6 months later, I really have so much to be grateful for. Joy can be a lot of hard work, and I learned a lot this year that will help me smile in the future. So I really like my smile.











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