3 Things I Love Today- Vivian Sobchack, MA'AM, and Elf

by - Saturday, December 01, 2012

1. Vivian Sobchack- If I could write one thing have as good as anything she had ever written, life would be so happy. Read "Scary Women" today, and it was pretty awesome, because that is how she rolls.
2. "Ma'am" Men Against Assholes and Misogyny"- Jen Kirkman started the tumblr (http://menagainstassholesandmisogyny.tumblr.com/) yesterday as a response to the amount of really vile garbage hurled at women on the internet, especially on Twitter. The website encourages men to speak out against this kind of behavior and to own and openly articulate their support of women. It is so great, and truly, there is nothing that makes me smile more than a great feminist who happens to be a dude.

 It's the same reason I care about LGBTQ rights- it means a lot to have someone who enjoys the (heteronormative, masculine, etc) privilege still insist that what is going on sucks. It's not about protection, it is about consensus. If I am the only one speaking out against my unjust treatment, it comes off as sefish. But if someone else notices, it takes on a new dimension. AND just because you have a penis doesn't mean that kind of rancor doesn't hurt you or it isn't worth standing up to it. So anyway, these guys have been making me smile all day long. Even the ones who don't totally get it are sweet, because getting on board is the most important thing. Here are a few of the gems:

"It’s all a big joke though! You were kidding! People need to lighten up and understand where you’re coming from. People need to stop taking the internet so literally. People need to just let you say what you want. People need to treat you better, because you’re only kidding.
You’re NOT kidding, you’re just an asshole.
You’re a little kid who got caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to, and is trying to argue that he didn’t know it was wrong."
From Mike Drucker, who is pretty awesome: "Really. Stop acting like it’s a compliment to shout at someone online
about how much you like their tits. You know it’s not."

"This should go without saying – and it’s slightly off-topic - but you
don’t deserve anything for doing the right thing. It’s the right
thing; that’s why you should do it.
If you listen to a girl complain about her boyfriend just want her for
sex, and then you get mad when that same girl doesn’t have sex with
you, you’re an asshole in nice dude’s clothing."

"Now, listen: you can certainly hate specific women! We’ve all had
shitty bosses and bad co-workers and terrible relationships.
But here’s a secret: those people didn’t hurt you or piss you off
because they’re women; they did it because those specific people were
assholes."

And from Jake Fogelnest: 
"And since I was born a white middle class male, there are just certain struggles I will NEVER know because of that. In times where I’ve been called on it, I let my ego get in the way. “Hey, I am a decent person! I own Bikini Kill records!”  True. Perhaps I needed to listen to them a little closer. 
The point is, I’m willing to learn. I’m willing to try. And I’m willing to call shit out when I see something I don’t like, even if it’s my own shit. I am urging other men to do the same. We need to be as on top of it with women’s issues the same way we are with racism and homophobia."

Everyone should go read this tumblr. It's not all great, but a lot of it made my day. Even better, the super wonderful feminist dudes in my life should write on there!

3.Elf- Watched it tonight as we worked on Christmas crafts (actually, we mostly worked on trying to de-knot giant globs of yarn). That movie is just on point from start to finish (with one awkward bit in the middle). So funny and sweet, without being saccharine. And every time I watch, I am surprised by just how many funny moments there are. A good Christmas Movie, for sure.

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